What am I doing wrong?

No chance, you and me both! How I rue half the plants I have put in over the years especially wall climbers and golden hop well big mistake!! A tiny piece given by a friend years ago and what a beast my bay tree is wearing a golden cap now.
I love your green lutyens bench and what a great job you've done behind it. It is looking very smart.
The only way I can really deal with my overgrown garden is to move! I'll think about that next year..:))

I understand about the hop. I have put in far too many tall-growing clematis which straggle about and a few climbing roses have hit the deck since we came here. (To name but a few).
Funny you should say that about moving, Janey... I can see the pleasure a smaller new house with a smaller new garden would give me. Sadly, OH can't see the appeal.. I want that floaty dress!

Loved the blog, and your usual witty humour, Ange! I, too, always fancied being one of those gardeners. I’ve tried the big floppy hat and dainty floral gloves..pre covid, I always applied lipstick before I started the gardening tasks - I even made sure it was on if I went out to the bin! 😆. I’m sure I have some French in me somewhere!
I have to admit, sometimes if I’ve been out shopping or for lunch etc, and I’ve a long maxi skirt or dress on, I’ve been known to garden in this outfit without getting changed into gardening gear - I think most of us are more Felicity Kendall in dungarees and wellies when gardening!
We’ve all lost a lot of treasured plants haven’t we! As you say, it’s the weather extremes in the recent past. I don’t think I’ve any self seeding plants, only perhaps the aquilegia or allium? I’m only in my 50s, and I’m already thinking about all the ivy hedges all around the back garden and the laurel/viburnum/box/osmanthus heading out front…and the arduous tasks. Should I be pre-empting this sooner rather than later?
I’ve a small front and back, I’d always wanted a large garden, as I buy plants and walk around aimlessly with them in my hands..where in earth can I plant this one?
You’ve both done a grand job, all is looking smart and pretty attractive. I, too, love your gorgeous sage coloured bench seat!

I see the reasoning of your son, Meadow, but, like you, i couldn't give up all perennials. However I have been re-reading a couple of books by Andy Mcindoe (of RHS gold medal and Chelsea fame) on Shrub Gardening and they have been a real eye-opener. We went to a talk by him a couple of years ago at Rosie Hardy's Nursery and I have kept copious notes made then.
I'm glad you've found good physical help. I am beginning to feel resentful about the amount of work this garden needs but I realise a lot of it is down to mistakes we made in overenthusiastic planting when I wanted virtually every plant I fancied. What a mistake that was! Now I am paying the price for that but I hope bit by bit we shall improve the situation by more drastic reorganisation.

I love the idea of wearing lipstick for gardening and bin filling, Kate. Perhaps we should start a photo trend on here by posting pics of us in our gardening attire. Guess who would look most like Wurzel Gummidge? (there, that dates me!).
As I said to Meadow, plant greed has been my downfall, but at least I know a lot now about the downsides of plantings - a bit late now I'm well past middle age. I would happily swap for a smaller space. We all want what we haven't got, garden-wise it seems. As for thinking ahead, how many of us do it?
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you like the bench.

I know I digress, I had blusher on one day, several years ago. It was a rush job as I was running late. I arrived at our office and Nicola who was a transplant nurse, mid to late 20s was already seated. I’d double checked my hair etc and said to her - ‘ my God, why didn’t you tell me I looked like aunt Sally?’ She said ‘who is aunt Sally’? I showed her a pic of Una Stubbs and Wurzel Gummidge. She said ‘no idea who they are, but, yes you look like Aunt Sally’.
You’re so right, do any of us think ahead? Do we want to? No one wants to think about not being able to do the things we enjoy like gardening or being able to tackle those big, sense of achievement jobs!
I’m up for pics in our gardening gear! Think Hywel started us off last month with his new tool apron?
Thanks for an interesting blog and discussion, Ange. x

I do garden in old cotton dresses and skirts, and whilst not floaty they were definitely pretty when new! I hate trousers if I am honest. I'm not really the shape for floaty dresses

Like you Ange I have lots of self seeders but at least they are easier to pull out than the bindweed and creeping sowthistle!
My problem is getting the time. when its nice OH wants us to go out on the motorbikes. when its not suitable for that it probably isn't suitable for gardening. [too hot/too cold/too wet]

Ange I agree with everything in your blog, my pottering always involves a spade and a ladder, but one day I will garden in a floaty dress and guess what I will probably get it caught on a rose and rip it Haha. I think your garden looks lovely and I also like the colour of your bench.

I wouldn't be without my perennials! They are timed so that there is always something in flower (Jan excepted) It never looks wonderful but there is always something interesting.I think you have to decide whether you want a garden first or some plants you like first. I've gone for the plants, so it never looks wonderful but there is always something functioning!
What I like is when I've forgotten something and then suddenly there it is in flower! But there is rarely a "beautiful border " to show off with! I am so ancient now that it doesn't bother me - the only problem now is keeping up with the weeding and my bad head won't let me do that. Don't get old ladies - be warned!

I'm glad you're getting out and about. We decided not to spend any time away this summer as there's always so much to catch up with on our return. I don't think I've worn a dress more than a couple of times a year. I have a dress or two in the wardrobe that haven't come out in 7 years!

Thank you, Callie. I have never been accused of being dainty so I know what you mean about the probable fate of floaty dresses! Glad you like the bench, I have to remember to keep putting out the cushions!

Stera, I don't think not getting older is an option! I know I've less energy year on year so trying to make the borders more manageable is the aim. I'm glad you have plants that give you pleasure. I am trying to give the plants I do like space to breathe!

I can understand you wanting to get rid of plants that take a lot of care, but the borders in your pictures look quite nice in the photos.
I agree about Ivy and Vinca. I have an awful job keeping my Ivy under control (It was meant to frame the flower beds along the paths but had ideas of its own so I take shears to it)
I now grow only the dwarf Vincas and they are in pots. They're pretty but they will stay in the pots.

I don't think gardening is ever a job for a neatly dressed person - male or female - I usually look like a tramp who's been sleeping rough for a few years, and the fact I can't be bothered to shave unless I'm going out adds to the look.

Thank you for your kind comments, Hywel. It sounds like you and I would make a good pair sartorially working in the garden!

:D

I would like to resemble Margot in 'To the manor born' in the garden, but sadly I end up in rather scruffy trousers, a tee shirt type top and either clumpy sandals or even worse some bright pink rubbery shoes!!

When you are in amongst weeds and roots and kneeling on a rather worn mat there is no point in looking floaty and pretty is there?!

Our garden IS very hard work and grows weeds so very well! We do our best but it is never enough! This year everything seemed to flower at once in a mad rush of frenzy and I cannot believe my pots and containers will last until the Autumn!!

A group photo would be fun!!!

gosh Ange your dresses are mere youngsters, I have some that I wore before Elizabeth was born, she's 31 in September. Mind not sure they would all fasten easily! too many biscuits with a cuppa!

W'rose, I'm with you on the amount of work the garden takes, even after 8 years here. This is largely due to our planting 'errors' which if we moved I would know not to repeat. Even after gardening for 40+ years we still get it wrong!! I fancy the idea of just dead-heading and hoeing, not the wholesale heavy duty work which you so aptly describe! Our gardening gear sounds very similar.

Sbg, My dresses are older than that, just never worn! Have you tried on your vintage ones recently?

From what I see of your plot, it is beautiful, Klahanie and a haven for wildlife. But I can see the scope of it is a lot to deal with. In my imagination it is an Eden, especially with those fabulous views. And the area around your house is lovely.My little space is on a slightly different scale, I know! Maybe I am too much of a control freak...?
Yes, I have to change after a day outside, too. I often feel that I have a range of livestock living in my hair.
Thank you for your kind comments.

Ange, casting my mind back to when you first joined Goy I used to look at the pics of all your new plantings and enjoyed your enthusiasm - but I did wonder what would happen in a few years time! Many happy gardening years since then...

Yes, Stera, a lot of 'misplantings' have gone onto the compost heap or green bin, especially in the last 2 or 3 years! I was looking at the birch tree and cercidiphyllum this morning: they seem to have doubled in size in the last 12 months.. something has to give!

All these comments made me smile but also nostalgic for the days of unbridled gardening passion and enthousiasm. As seemingly so many of us... now more of a "let's simplify my garden a bit" sort of gardener! I never thought that would be me after all the gardens I've started from scratch over the years and loving it, but I am now.
After having so much of my present garden destroyed, by wind mainly, disadvantage of hilltop gardening that but I do get the views too! I've decided to radically (again) change my whole garden, removed all my plants last autumn and created a tiered gravel garden and so pleased I did. It's very ZEN and I love it. Still plenty of plants but lower and all chosen with dry climate in mind. I
I really admire those of you who continue to work so hard but although I'm in excellent health and supple enough I now object to spending all my free moments slogging out there and never time enough to sit and look. I would've liked the odd floaty number but happier now in my scruffy walking boots and jeans, where's that trug gone, I'm sure I had one 🤔

Resi, I find, like you my 'unbridled gardening passion' as you so aptly call it, has diminished a lot over the last 3 years. I never thought I would get to feel this way but there it is, age creeps up!
I read your comments with interest because you echo so well what I feel now. We've wrestled with trying to compromise, now things really have to change. I, too, would like to find time to just sit and stare, but when I do at the moment all I feel is frustration!!