HELP!!!!

You've just got to give him things to do - go shopping etc!!!

Find him a hobby in the garage, workshop or shed...that's where mine is at the moment! Not sure which - but he doesn't know I am typing away in here...again...LOL.

Good luck!

Not being able to use the computer and see GoY is an official illness...

it is called Without Internet ~ Need GoY....

or WING for short...

There is no known cure, so I suggest you tell hubby that your daily dose of GoY is much healthier than having too much food and alcohol .....or being addicted to drugs or cigarettes... Lol.

... maybe he'll get hooked on GoY too. !

I'll look out for a new member called Mr Lily2. Lol. :o)

Very good blog... well done.

These are all good suggestions Lily, (by the way which Lily am I talking to?) but I fear you will just have to come out of the closet and TELL HIM! ! ! It can't be doing you any good in there any way, sitting in the dark and all.
Perhaps he may join you in your morning fix and simply ignore this terrible afliction you have! ! ! Or as you say you will probably have to go cold turkey..... Its not that bad really, honest Lily, just add a bit of mayo and put it in a sandwich. :~)))))

Convert the attic for his train set and install a desk, armchair, computer/internet, TV, mini fridge and kettle. Tell him its all for him and he can even have friends up there finally sign him up for the train equivilent of GOY - SORTED you will never see him again!

look up the nearest train club he`s sure to like that lily, but dont let the trains in your lovely garden oh noooo , im an addict to lily but baz knows that, also he spends ages looking on ebay at cars, car parts etc, i now have my own laptop, i got fed up of waiting to go on his ,lol, good luck lily,:o))))

Lily - why not see if he'd like to be a volunteer at The Watercress Line at Alton? It's a big train set and I'm sure he'd like to be there every day - problem solved :-)

Oh dear :(
Very bad news indeed :(

I like Drc and Andrews suggestions, i think they're brilliant :)))

Sorry, but your blog made me chuckle. I guess this is why I am single.

yes there is something to be said for that michaela, ive been with baz 4 years now but on my own before for about 12 years, i do sometimes miss the things i could do when on my own, like travelling when and where i wanted , but wouldnt be without him now :o)

~get him a dog to take for walks to keep him fit~one that needs really long walks.~......you will have to clear that with Daisy though!~better still volunteer him as a dog walker for the local RSPCA ~with a bit of luck that will be miles away and take forever to get to...

Go and live on your own like me with nobody to nag you - you can do anything you want then. It's much better :o)

Or tell him if you can't look at GoY he can't play with his trains.

WHY do people try and live someone else's life - DO YOUR OWN THING and let others do theirs :o)

Micheala you are so right, when we are on our own dont have to answer to anyone.

your right hywel i tell baz that, i do what i need to do and he likes his hobbies, everyone has to have their own time and space

SO true ! Independence rules !!
There is really only one solution Lily. Murder him and plant him in the garden then you could make a really nice feature of the grave stone !!! lol

LOL Sue! I thought he'd feed the plants nicely! But seriously Lily, just admit it & inform him that if he even ATTEMPTS to get you help or wean you off, you WILL kill him!

~murder seems a bit extreme Sue~a good layout on a board lots of little buildings and landscaping etc ~and a few new trains up in the loft might be an easier option!Could take him years to get it sorted..

Well what a helpful lot you all are, I had doubts about even posting this blog at all. First of all there are a few things you need to know about Mr Lily and when I've explained you'll see why, so far, that out of all your excellent suggestions Sue's is the only one that will do the trick.
1 To be fair, he doesn't complain about my GoY time, the guilt is all mine.
2 He is not sociable and is a man of few words.
3 He is an individualist and likes to do things his own way
4 He is not very fit so doesn't go out much
5 To sum it up, he is and always was, an awkward b****r!
So, he would never join something like Goy although a train one would be great if he was normal. He belonged to a model railway club for 2 years but left because he didn't like the way they operated. ( so that makes Andrew's excellent suggestion of the Watercress Line a no-no)
Drc we have already converted the loft at great expense for that very purpose. Years later the layout is still not completed and yet he wants ANOTHER one in MY garden!

Ian, surely you've worked out which Lily I am, I'm SAINT Lily of course and yes maybe I will sit in the closet and eat turkey sandwiches, clutching my laptop! lol
Hywel, your suggestion I REALLY like and let's say I shall be working on it maybe in conjunction with Sue's!!
Phew!!

LMAO of course Saint Lily, I should have regognised you by the mayo on your lip! tut. I must get these glasses sorted out, their not mine really but I liked the colour. Lol :~)))
I thought they made me look a bit more distinguished? ? ?

Killing him would be quicker than divorcing him, but would you get GoY in prison? Not worth it, you wouldnt have your garden either!!

Are they big wrap around shades or Dame Edna ones Ian?
No don't fancy prison Marie, even though they do have a jolly good time in there these days. Though I could do the prison garden and win a gold medal at Chelsea, probably could get GoY and best of all- no men! Maybe......... :o)

:~))))

That was SUPPOSED to put you OFF killing him!!

Which of my suggestions do you like ? - living on your own or stopping him playing with his trains.

Anyway why do you feel guilty. I don't think he feels guilty about his trains. - Just get on with what you want to do and Bu***r anyone else. Just get on with it. It doesn't matter.

I agree Hywel!! Scuff the lotofem!

Quite right Marie :o)

I was just thinking that Hywel, why DO I feel guilty? It's because I know I am addicted!! Maybe also because it seems so antisocial to chat to others on the computer all evening but then he watches antisocial TV anyway. I wish he would go and play trains more. No I shall just miss my freedom to do as and when I please, answerable to no-one, just like yourself.

Well heres hoping he wont curtail your freedom too much!

He'll be THERE, that's enough! ;o(((

poor lily, must be something you love about him cause your still together, hope all goes ok for you :o) x

You COULD always let him go to the pub more, or convince him he's bored (V quickly) & needs another job!

Nope and nope.
Doesn't drink.
No one else would employ him!.......

When my friend Beryl sais "you're not looking at that thing again are you" I just say "Oh shut up" and she does :o)

the thing is when i was unhappy with my ex i made the choice to go it alone, rather that than be with someone who made me unhappy,,life is just to short isnt it! do what you feel happy with lily, dont be unhappy, tell him if he wants to be misserable he can do it on his own

Take me with a pinch of salt San! 40 years is a long time together, it's just how life is after all that time. I like my own space and I'm sure I'm very irritating too. I hope he never gets to read all this!!! I'm too old to go it alone!

Good one Hywel, I'll remember that! LOL

well i think even though he is how he is, you still have something after all that time together, god i hope he doesnt get to read it, can you delete this blog after

Yes she can delete the blog!

Might make him think San!.. This was more about being addicted really than making you all think how awful he is!!

We werent really thinking he was awful, more how YOUR routine would be thrown by suddenly having him around all the time!
Maybe you will both need to discuss some ground rules to make sure you can both enjoy his retirement!

see how something small turns out being a big thing,, strange really,i dont think hes awfull lily, my baz is a stick in the mud to lol, tv hates gardening, thinks im on here all the time lol i am heheh, but he is on ebay all the time, but still love him, we just dont like the same things

Lily I've PM'ed you. Hope you dont mind.

I agree with you Marie.

Anyway Lily as to going it alone you might HAVE to one day - or he will have to.

Hywel! Dont be depressing!

everyone is differant hywel what one person decideds to do another wont, its all about how you feel and how you cope, im one who would rather go alone but not right for everyone,it obviously worked ok for you hywel which im glad,im happy with my boring hubby lol, maybe because i know he wont mess me about like the men ive been involved with before, he`s a good man and i feel safe and loved,

Dear Saint Lily,
I read your blog with interest, and wonder, could it be possible, that we are married to the same bloke....? LOL
My advice would be...
Ignore the grumpy ole man, and carry on as before....
Suggest he gets a part time job...
Suggest he goes and plays with his trains...
Stop hiding the TV remote, and hand it over...likewise, the TV guide...
Spend the pension money on your garden...
And finally, make it quite clear from the start, that you both have your own space and routines...and meet up occasionally!
Trust me...it works ;)
Kind regards,
Saint Di (aka Marje Proops) xx

It's true though Marie. One or other of a pair will have to be left on their own some day. It's no good dwelling on it though.
Actually I'm not quite on my own - there's Beryl but we don't live in the same house. I think that's why we've stayed 'together' for so many years.

I know, notthing is permanent.
That's good you've found a way that works!
I'm NOT good at sharing my space! I dont think I'd cope if I had to share my home now! Kill him probably!!

Oh how lovely it is to be back on GoY and reading blogs like this.
I do understand Lily. My grandson, aged 13 (so a man in the making), has just gone home. Every day he had some comment to make about my garden - mostly what I could do to change it! After a few days I asked why he had wanted to stay for a week.' I thought it would be nice to see you,' he said.' Well,' said I,' you've seen me now so perhaps you should go home.' He didn't take me seriously, and stayed!
I would say do not let your husband outside with anything that can cut. If you do, something you have been growing for years to cover an eyesore, which he has never even noticed before, will be perceived as an overgrown mess and chopped down. Trust me.

It's quite eaasy if you don't want his train set running through your garden Lily and here are 2 options:

1. Purchase a pond rhino like Neil or Mossy - trains won't last long!

or, my preferred option:

2. When he starts assembling a train track through your garden....you start assembling pots of flowers in his attic and even across his 'garden track' and remind him that the flowers were there first|!!!

LOL Dan!

Hywel, you make me laugh. I like your straight forwardness. Straight to the point! I love it!

Please excuse the indulgence I have added at the top of the blog, she has been a delight and brightened the day for both of us. Mr L aka Grandad has been home all day and been very useful so he has been granted a pardon!
Crazy Marge, he's been home too much this week to have been doing all that hard labour round yours so it must be his twin brother lol. Have tried all those suggestions and will stick with the first one!!
Yes Hywel, always to the point, please don't change lol
Welcome back Ginellie, I agree about men with cutters in gardens. Mr L is really only allowed out in the garden on a lead but I let him off under close supervision if I want a job done!
OB I couldn't stand the heartbreak of a pond rhino. Flowers in his attic would go straight out the window and ANY plants ANYWHERE in the garden would get trodden on, hence NO railway! ;o((

lily jasmine is beautifull and glad you hadnt left us :o)

She's just gorgeous Lily. How do you stop yourself from eating her all up? No wonder you've been quiet. oh yes your pardoned........ :~))

Thanks Sandra and Ian, we think so too but then we are biased! She was here yesterday evening, all night and just gone now. She was so good she can come again anytime :o))))))))
All addicts are very secretive about their habit but GoY is not anything to be ashamed of so I shall come right out of that closet and start manufacturing 'I LOVE GOY' badges and maybe MP could even do some fridge magnets!!
I love GoY and I'm proud of it so you know who can think what he likes!!!!! How's that for positive thinking ? (thank you Hywel) :o))

thats great lily, like you say nothing to be ashamed of,,:o) unless you run off with a rich gardening toyboy lol

In my dreams sandra. The reality would be too much to cope with!! :o)

Gorgeous Jasmine !!! Never seen eyes so blue !!

GOOD FOR YOU< LILY!!!!!!!!!!!
You just pm me your address & I'll do a magnet for you! A keyring too if you want! I'll put up a blog for sugestions for designs!
The magnets can also be made into badges, they're pretty versatile!

I think Jasmine is a PERFECT reason for you being absent, she's a sweetie!

Blog up now! Over to you GoYs!!

Okay Lily I am back. Firstly can I put some GoY'ers straight (and I am sure you will back me up Lily) A train set ceases to be 'a set' when you take it out the box and assemble it, then it becomes 'a model railway', ......hang on just getting off me soap box ..... ahh thats better now then If said Hubby wants to put in a garden railway, tell him He cannot ... no way ... have two so he will have to demolish the one in the loft so you can use the space to use for your hobby aka gardening hot house and Computer workroom, then tell him he will have to put in roof windows for ventilation, that should do the trick.
But Lily really what is wrong with a single track around the garden going in and out of the plants? That's what I am planning and Gill is in full agreement so long as I do not take over the garden, even have a water feature (pond or stream) so the train can go over it. :o)))

Bob that sounds WONDERFUL !! Choo choo through the garden ! You could have stations along the way at all of the different flowers where the little people could get off and have a look. You could even serve refreshments !!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sue, you're as nuts as he is! & they call ME mad????????

Hey Marie you and Sue are only NEARLY as mad as I am :o))))
I LOVE the suggestion though Sue I could even have a rockery with little workmen on the lineside digging in amongst the plants hehehe

You mean to tell me that you don't believe in fairies and pixies and leprechauns Marie ???????????????????????????

Chaingang Pixies !!! lol !!

Severn Valley Railway eat your heart out !!!! Bobs Big Choo Choo wins hands down !!

Hehehe I just been to Ironbridge today what a coincidence you should mention the Severn.
doodedoodoo doodedoodoo!:o))))

Lovely place. Just up the road

Admit it, you were just sussing out the competition !!! lol

Of course it is (silly me) I did wave to you .... honest ....when I was stuck in the traffic jam :o)))

Ahhh! you found me out Sue :o(

Don't worry, I won't tell !!! tee hee

Of course I believe, Sue!

I never doubted it for a minute !! haha

LOL!

Hi Bob, very interesting that you as a 'model railway' enthusiast should say he can't have two, I expected you to side with him. Will PM you with all the details of the existing one (too long and boring for the non railway people). As to the garden railway, the picture you paint sounds lovely and this was once his vision ' we can do our hobbies together'. But I know the reality of this: I have said before on GOY, his feet are not connected to his brain and in a very short space of time the plants would be all crushed to oblivion. He is over 20 stone with size 13 feet so they stand no chance!!! See my point?

With feet that size Lily, when you plant him make sure that he's face down with his legs bent at the knees so that his feet stick up out of the ground. That way you can put a plank across and make a bench, so you can have a little sit whilst you admire the wonderful display that I am in no doubt you will arrange around the gravestone !!!!!! LMAO !!

I wouldn't plant him Sue, he might grow! It does conjure up a very funny picture though. LOL He's always said when I go he'll bury me in one of my raised beds as they're just the right size. Anyway he's staying now, on good behaviour and I shall wear my GoY badge with pride!

Yayyyyyy Lily. Good on ya girl :~))
x x x

Go girl GO !!! :)

By the way Lily, They are the super cool wrap around shades.............. Yeah. Lol ;~))

Got there in the end then Ian?

(blush) ;~)))))))))

Glad you sorted THAT out Lily! Now choose a colour for your lily!

Ooooh pink please Marie. Did you get my pm?

Yes, I've answered!

I'm in my third year of he who has retired, I'm getting used to it, and hide in the shed when it gets too much

LOL. I hope you've got a chair and some gardening magazines in there!

Oh no Grindle, 3 years and still getting used to it! I do escape to the potting shed sometimes already as he does only work mornings. I did suggest we could share the housework but that went down like a lead balloon!
Something wrong here Barbara, isn't it traditionally the men who do that to escape from US? lol

Awww....Lily..it is so nice that Mr. Lily enjoys your company so! LOL..I have enjoyed reading your Blog on this subject and all the responses...it is fun!
Thank you!
I do consider any time I get on line at all as breaks, such as you do. I used to be a smoker, many years ago ....now I am checking e-mails etc instead..I think it is much healthier and Goy is so much fun because we all have a common bond..I am sure your husband will be glad for your happiness..lol..and after being home with himself for a while will see the need for stimulation such as these internet communities provide. They certainly have been invaluable to me.
Cheers to your husbands retirement and a new chapter in both of your lives!

Thanks Catfinch, I'm glad it made you laugh. I'm sure I shall get used to having him around, he's not so bad really! It's just that we get territorial and stuck in our own routines when we have the house to ourselves all day but i must remember it IS his house too!! I don't think he will ever be a person who likes to chat on line like this but he has plenty of hobbies. He doesn't know what he's missing does he?

Don't EVER encourage him to join GOY - unless you have TWO computers in your house! lol.....You'd be lost to us. :-((

Yes Barbara, we do have two computers and separate email addresses too so now he doesn't have to complain about all the GoY ones !(I don't want to switch them off). He does lots of genealogy on his so we got the laptop for me but I do find it a bit 'frisky' with a mind of it's own!!

Wheeeew! Just read that little lot from top to bottom! See the trouble you're causing Lily! All those nice people enjoying themselves, and then you want to try and prise a way out of them to devise a cunning plan of attack against your dearly beloved. Rock on to you Mr Lily - who wears the trousers..........ok............she does!

Great blog Lily - I just knew you were humerous!

Somebody once asked us 'who wore the trousers' and I expected him to say that I did but was very surprised when he said '50/50' which is what I thought too. So we do agree on something! I like having him around, just not all the time...LOL

LMSO, You'll never here the end of it Lily........... :~))

I might just have to delete this blog Ian, just in case he ever decides to have a nose at what keeps me so busy on the computer.....there's some things hubbies shouldn't know - ask Carol! lol

Errrrrr, no thanks I'm much happier not knowing. Lol

Ignorance is bliss eh?

Where IS Carol. btw? She's keeping a bit quiet??

She's here, lapping up all the comments from the blokes on my last blog. :~))

Is GoY being particulaly slow tonight or is it just me? ? ?

The very kind GOY people did some changes to the blog start page at my request, so it could have been that that was slowing it down!

Morning Lily, and please whisper when you answer....... I think I need to apologize for my PM last night. I am sooooo sorry for dumping that on you. :~((