Magnetic Personalities!!

hehehe these are good

My mum got me a sign that says:

Fancy a dirty weekend?.....
.....the compost is in the potting shed

x x x

Funnnnnnyyyyy, loved it. You got to laugh a little ay!!

A hug is the best gift of all............. one size fits all.
I refuse to do the vacuuming until they invent one I can ride on.

Good one Jen!
Ian, ya big soft ****!
Yep, Doon, I think we need a laugh now & again (& again)!

Yeah I know but ya wouldn't have it any other way :~))~~

What is worth more than a Rolls Royce, a private jet and a huge mansion in the country yet costs nothing at all?
.......................................A SMILE :~))

NOPE!! :~)D

Very good!!

will someone pleeease get this fridge off my back!

hahahahaha

I like that one Indy

id def buy that

x x x

my mother had a Tshirt printed saying
"my next husband will be normal"

shes not married since

x x x x

I've got a t shirt that says "Hungover.......do not disturb"
And another which says "if found please return...........to the pub"

~i was shopping in Bath wih my husband and daughter and saw this and burst out laughing~Sometimes I wake up grumpy .Other times I let him sleep!Very apt for my hubby!
~And A successful man makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Why doesn't that surprise me, Digger!
Yeah, indy! I like that one too!!
I think I want your mum's t-shirt, Jen!!
Great, Arlene!

"Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get" - Tom Hanks in "Forrest Gump" :-D

some good ones there Madperth.
my sis got me one that says.
A clean kitchen is a sign of a broken PC

I knew you'd get another choc one in there david!
I like that, Irish!

If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving is not for you!

~One in four people are unbalanced.
Think of three friends,if they seem ok you are the one!
~
love makes the world go round but chocolate makes the ride worthwhile~one for David!
~
Men are like chocolates~wait too long and only the weird and nutty ones are left

Lol, Arlene!

I especially like the first one, really appeals to me, ROFL! :-)

A clean house is the sign of a wasted life. (Carol has a mug with it on and no its not me I've checked) I'll pm you what my mug says............ Lol

~I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Arlene, I do really have a fridge magnet with this on, lol!

I also have a mug and coaster with my fave quote this year:-

"When the going gets tough, the tough get growing!"

Reminds me of the well-documented therapeutic benefits of gardening as a hobby, for folks in a fragile state of mind. Makes me feel lucky to be "normal"! ?

~They are all on my fridge!
Real women don't have hot flushes they have power surges!

~ not seen that one David~ How appropriate!

Don't waste time working out what went wrong- work out who to blame!

I hate four-letter words- Dust, cook, wash, iron!

The secret to eternal life is..............keep breathing!

~ I never met a calorie I didn't like!~Both of us can't look good it's either me or the house!

I love the men are like chocolates one, Arlene!

My house was clean last week- sorry you missed it!

Make yourself at home- clean my kitchen!

A creative mind is seldom tidy

Chocolate; its the only thing that keeps the thin woman in me quiet!

I have started a wine and spirit diet~so far I have lost Monday Wednesday and Friday!

LOL!
Hard work never killed anyone- but why chance it?

~yes I like that one!
Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind!

LOVE THAT!!

My boss thinks I'm a mushroom- keeps me in the dark & feeds me bull****!
I wore a t-shirt with that on when I worked in my dad's greengrocers!

~I have really got to go but keep putting them on!thanks for the giggle!

You're Welcome!
Goodnight!

~Goodnight!

Hey David! What's with the editing? & where's normal? Have you been there?

Superglue for when your magnets lost its stick!
I'm going to fall off, this fridge isn't attractive enough!
If found on the floor, your fridge and I are poles apart!
This fridge is made of plastic,I'm held on by faith!
I wish I was a babe magnet!
OH! the irony.
When I grow up I'm gonna be a particle accelerator!
Do I look like I know which way is North?

Ha ha you've made me laugh again Marie, I love them all especially one about the dad's not asking for directions Thats ME! :o)))
Okay here's a couple,
Sign in a deli "please do not stand too close to the bacon slicer as we are getting behind in our orders"
And this one is one of those daft diamonds hanging in the rear window of a car, "Mother-in-law in boot"

Your like a fart in a collander. Home is where one grumbles the most but is treated the best, Digging a hole for yourself. Ass, gas, and grass no rides are free, I ate all the chocolate, its name was moose.

I like this one: I RAN INTO MY EX...BACKED UP AND RAN OVER HIM AGAIN!!

lol - some of those are very good :o)

hehehe these are good keep em coming

x x x

~ if the shoe fits~buy it in every colour!
I try to watch what I eat but I'm not quick enough!

LMAO Marie - I have on my desk at work one of the retro ones "were not gossiping were networking" and my fav is "I can only please one person per day and today is not your day and tomorrow isn't looking good either" may not be that apt. for someone in HR

LMAO some of these are hilarious........... :~))
More of my T shirts.........
Dads three favourite words?......... Ask your mother
Be kind............. I'm hungover
Slow down I'm watching your A**
I'm not overweight, I'm wearing one of those fat suits for a bet!
HUNGER isn't a crime
Oi copper Cruisin' isn't illegal
.
.
I'll let you have some more when I can remember what they are, Carol has them in the wash! ! ! ! ! !

LOl, digger!

"You're getting me confused...................
With someone who gives a ****!!"

YAY!!!! FINALLY got rid of my virus, thanks to GoY support team!!

never lend your car to someone you have given birth to :-)

I finally got it together, but I forgot where I put it!!

I don't need a man to keep me happy, but a maid is essential!

Ah! I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again!

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous

If it's a man's world, let HIM clean it!

two more from my fridge lol.

would you liek to speak to the man in charge or the woman who knows whats happening.

the best man for the job is a woman

Spot on, Irish!

~many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal healthy lives~

when the going gets tough ,I'm glad I'm a fridge magnet and couldn't give a s***!

Think before eating anything out of this fridge, just exactly what have you been told about magnetic fields!

Indy.........Are you making these up as you go along?????????

Of course someone has got to give the magnet makers new ideas! anyway my fridge magnets are all too rude to print here and you've got to let a chap join in....
my favorite magnet says

LOOK!
this magnets got
F***
on it!

Why am I not surprised?!!

My next fave says

WHAT
the
****
did your
parents
do to you?

I LIKE that one!
I gave my dad one that says
"Your family are chosen for you........Thank **** you can choose your friends!"

I like the 'T' shirts with that company logo on them 'FCUK' well it made me look twice when I first saw it.
We also have a plaque the kids bought us with "One nice person and an old goat lives here" and I also have two 'round tuit's'

A friend bought me a bag emblazoned with the words: ''Save the Earth...it's the only one with Chocolate' .....one for David, I guess....lol

Great blog Marie...well done...love 'em all!

My husband needs glasses...he still doesn't see things my way...

If you give up all your vices, you don't necessarily live longer - it just feels like it

We've got a sign on the wall outside that says Welcome to the other side! ! Its not meant to be funny ......... Its a warning! ! !

(Picture a bunch of balloons with a hand holding a pin,) this was written in between the balloons and hand holding the pin, Virginity is like a balloon one p.... and its gone or Sod the dog beware of the kids/wife. I once had a wife until her husband came and took her back

Great loved them,keep them coming.

I saw one in a garden that said
"Welcome! This Is My Garden.......
Now p*** Off!"

I've just noticed you've got 1000 messages in your in box while I was PM'ing you. :~))

It's 1200!

pm's recieverd! Like them!

It says 1001 when I just looked, perhaps you've had 200 PM's then

what does mine say?

1297

i cant think of any, :o( good blog though mari :o))
live well
love much
laugh often
thats all i have to say :o) x

Well it's a goody,San!!

What's the difference between a man & a computer?
You can punch sense into a computer!

1551 so it must be the difference of the PM's. Well now we've sorted that little problem out how about me and you solve the meaning of life next? :~))

lol mari,,
i got my eldest a tshirt in america with
daddys little princess is now my little whore!
oops sorry for the w word :o(

"Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children."

"Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional."

"When you can't get your ass in gear, donate it to the charity shop and buy clothes that fit." (LOL!)

The meaning of life.............
Which life in particular did you want to discuss?
I've had loads!! Lol!
& most of them in THIS lifetime!!
Thank you for my 1000th PUBLIC message!

Good ones, San & David!
I like the growing up is optional one!
The ass in gear one rings very true these days! I just threw out 50% of my clothes cos theyre too BIG! Yay!
I have a badge my brother bought me that says "I dont WANNA grow up!!!!". Sums me up perfectly!

On our first holiday together in Cornwall, I bought Ali a t-shirt saying:

'Speak very slowly as I'm naturally blonde!'

She thought it was really funny which made it more apt really!!!!

Tut tut!
someone bought me one that said "You're first on my list of things to do tonight!"
Havent worn it!

Funny enough, neither did Ali!!

How about:

You can touch the dust just don't write in it!

My family tree is full of nuts...

I'm not a complete idiot....parts of me are missing!

I'd let myself go but I've already gone!

I made a wish and you came true,,,

...and for the ladies in da house...

I've shopped all my life and I've still got nothing to wear!!

And finally, one for the Grandparents....

If I'd known grandchildren would be this much fun, I'd have had them first!!

Pretty good, Dan!

My fella says he'll leave me if I go shopping one more time!
I'm gonna miss him!

lol!

A closed mouth gathers no foot

BITCH!
Babe In Total Charge of Herself!

Hahaha Oh I love these. Now I am going to lower the tone all the way down.
I once saw a message in a doctors surgery that said :-
Diahorreah is hereditry .... it runs in your jeans!

whats the difference tween a woman and a dictaphone
dictaphones can repeat whats been said properly and dont answer back!

"The cock crows but it's the hen that delivers the goods"

And (for those interested in the meaning of life):-

"There is no way to peace; peace IS the way"

I dont suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it

My Husband always gives me sound advice 99%sound 1% advice!

These are really funny, I think its a blog that should just run and run, just to cheer us up. well bone Hatter. :~)))))))

Well BONE??????
Thanks! (I think!)

Keep smiling........
It makes people wonder what you've been up to!

these are great love em
the one Sanbaz mentioned about live life etc I actually have on our downstairs loo wall!!

My friend had a sign in her bathroom that said

"if you sprinkle when you tinkle
Be a sweet and wipe the seat"

love it

x x x

right am off to have a quiet word with myself as have been very busy today
this isnt a saying its just what i need to do
x x x

one my mum has at home is "sometimes I wake up grumpy - sometimes I let him sleep on" my Dad can be a bit of a Victor Meldrew so it is apt. LOL

I bought one for my friends who have 6 kids:
We childproofed the house, but they still keep getting in!!

I like that one Marie gonna google it and put it on my pin board

Just cut & paste it Angie!

Mookins, I had one in my last bathroom (not there now) that just said "PUT THE ****ING LID DOWN!"

~They say that money talks but mine just waves goodbye!

i used to be the only woman working with 75 men, i know i know god help me lol. but one of them put a notice in the loo,it read,,,,,,,,,, Please put the toilet seat up

LMAO!!! Brilliant! Id've glued the seat down!

This one is a true story but i've got to add it here as it is soooo funny.
The local copshop was broken into last night and all the toilet seats were stolen, the police are investigating but they have nothing to go on!

TRUE??????????

A lorry full of wigs has been stolen from a layby on the A1. The police are combing the area for clues! ! !

That's almost as bad as Bob's! You 2 been watching Morecambe & Wise?

Another lorry full of super glue was stolen from the same place but the police are stuck as to who is responsible

Ah! It was the Two Ronnies, wasnt it?!

Your right Hatter, I used to love watching them and thought they were the funniest people in the world. :~)))

Well you can tell I liked them, I recognise the jokes!

I just looked on our fridge and the magnets there are:-
'Father's are people to look up to no matter how tall you grow '
'Whoever said money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop'
'Mothers are angels in training'
'Friends are the flowers of life'
'Chocolate,Coffee, men, so much better when they're rich'
I think I've seen the last one earlier on in this blog!

sign hanging in a gift shop..."all unattended children will be given a large cup of expresso and a brand new puppy."

yep, Richard, the coffee chocolate men one is on my favourite Tshirt!

Love that one,K!

Ah the Two Ronnies, absolutely the most funniest double act ever with Morecambe and wise a very VERY close second.

I must agree with that man! ! ! ! ! Lol :~))

~old gardeners never die they just throw in the trowel~
We have a stable marriage~I work like a horse and he is as stubborn as a mule!

That's a good one Arlene ha ha lol :-)

Here's one for car buffs........ Old Golfs never die they just get lowered! ! !

Rugby players do it with odd-shaped balls!

~A man's got to do what a man's got to do~A woman must do what he can't!
I would be unstoppable, if I could just get started!

We all know the old lie........ When God created man she was only kidding! ! !

My dog is not spoiled~I am just very well trained!

What can do the work of ten men?.......ONE WOMAN!!

What can do the work of ten WOMEN?

LOL! Great blog MP (sorry for just catching up...) it's given me a right good laugh :))
I don't have any fridge magnets...just a couple of plaques on the kitchen wall...one says
"A House is not a Home without a Dog" and the other says
"Mother by chance, Friend by choice..."

No problem, Di! We seem to have branched out anyway, we're now doing tshirts, signs & stupid jokes (Digger) so all contributions accepted, & the rude ones can be pm'd!!!

You still haven't answered my question. Hatter?

Ten Women!!!!

Nahhh.

Well?????????????
( I've added my tatties to my blog!)

And I'm ignoring them! ! ! !
I knew it would be to much for a woman to work out. Mwaaaaa :~)))))))))))))

~no man yet can carry a child and give birth~ten women can! What do you say Marie!

Why are you ignoring them? I thought you'd be proud of me! :~(((

I agree Arlene!

I am, but my veggies were ridiculous this year so anyone else's are being thoroughly ignored. HUMPH ! ! !

Oooooooooooh! Get you!!!

I think Madperth he s throwing his dummy out the pram again, he mum must of been slim, keep up and down picking that dummy up when he was a baby.

Yep! Definitely!

What do you call a group of blondes

A thicket

Good one!

~three things a man can't say~I'm wrong.I'm lost.I can't fix it!

Too true Arlene!

The camels hump is an ugly lump
as well as you see at the zoo
but uglyer yet is the hump that you get,
from having to little to do.

The devil makes work for idle hands.

Ah! I get it now, you having a blonde moment, sweetie?

yes all I seen was the kitchen bit lol yes I was born a blonde but alas I turned natural dark brown senial moment more like he he so the receptionist at doctors told me to say

LOL!

Give me patience, & I want it NOW!!!!

I' always know exactly where I am Arlene, directly over the centre of the earth, how can anyone be lost knowing that?
I'm wrong most women can be even knowing that and I cant fix that so two out of three cant be right there petal!

Mad perth my favorite one is .And I have it stuck on my fridge at home "I am still hot" But it comes in flushes now

Good one!!

Gardening forever - housework whenever!

What a GREAT blog Madperth !!
Here we go :-
One in four people are unbalanced. Think of three friends and if they seem OK, then you're the one !
You know you are getting older when Happy Hour is a nap !!!

and my favourite :
A mind is a terrible thing to waste on housework !!

I agree ladies!
I've added another pic at the bottom of my blog! Which is my philosophy!

Mine too M. I feel worn out from scrolling all the way back up there and down again!

Me too! Its exhausting! LOL!

Phew, I feel a bit like V. van Gogh's aunty after that trek all the way back up there! ! !
What?............. Ask Bob. Lol

Sorry I had to delete this comment it broke copyright rules. See Bob's blog. :~))

Ok, will do! I get theVG bit tho, he sent it to me too!

LMAO :~))
I had copied and pasted it here............ :~((

Oooooh! Then we WOULD've been in bother for blog-hijacking!

Too true, then you understand why it had to be deleted and QUICK ;~))

OH Yes!! :~)))

He can be scarey you know......... :~((

:~(((
Scares the bejeezus outa me!! :~))

Lol, I'm ok I've gotta go out now. You can face him on your own! ! ! :~))) ~~

Coward! I'm going out soon too!!

LMAO I'm not the only coward then?

I'm going to Pittencrieff park, & its persisting down!!

Here's a couple more for the fridge door:

I'd like to help you out - which way did you come in?

and

Have a purpose in life - set a bad example

Very good!

Lol they are among the best yet! ! !

I agree! Brilliant, Andrew!!

Gr8 ones, Andrew! :-)

...can only follow with ...."I'd like to give up chocolate...but I'm no quitter!" lol