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Summer..What A Washout!


Hello All..
Well here we are now slipping into Autumn, after the worst washout of a Summer ever..well at least it feels that way!
I have not been on GOY very much recently as have been busy renovating again. I think I can honestly say that I have been renovating bits of our cottage for the last thirty years plus..

After almost a year spent creating an indoor/outdoor Garden Room, which I posted a blog on a while back, we have been just as busy working on the outside of our home.
All my grand plans of getting my garden back up to scratch got put on hold due to the terrible wet Summer we have just experienced, and thanks to the wet weather, we have been inundated with slugs and snails, like so many other gardeners this year.
I swear I can hear them munching away on my plants the minute a drop of water falls from the grey overcast sky..
They have decimated large sections of my garden this year, as we have been so busy on the house, they have been left to get up to their own evil plan of wholesale destruction of any plant that has managed to survive the deluge of rain this year.
That noise you can hear in the background is me sobbing and ranting folks!

Now we all know that we have to put up with whatever good old Mother Nature throws our way, and most of us gardeners are a philosophical lot..We just shrug our shoulders and get on with it, but this invasion of slimy munching gastropods has driven me to distraction this year, and as my OH says I can’t use TNT on them..I have resorted to venting through a sluggy poem instead, in the hope it will bring a smile or chuckle to the demented gardener who is just about to go outside with a large rubber mallet and a gleam in her eye.. ‘Here sluggy sluggy…’


I am not a violent soul,
in fact I’m kind of gentle,
but something very slimy now
is making me so mental.

I hear them crunching in the night,
as rain it softly patters..
Slithering up the garden path..
It’s driving me quite crackers!

Munching on my lovely plants,
till they are decimated..
Being kind to nature
I think is highly over-rated..

Oh to dispose of every snail,
put these slimy slugs at rest,
With my rubber mallet handy,
I will eradicate this pest.

It is a little squishy,
not for squeamish folk I fear..
Perhaps we’ll let them breathe their last
in a trap filled up with beer.

You could even play Slug Tennis,
have them flying airborne bound,
or if like me you’ve lost the plot,
blow them up from underground..

I’m really not requesting much,
as I sob, and rant and moan..
Oh Gastropods I beg of you,

Oh just what we need…More Rain…Where’s me rubber mallet..?

Hope it raised a smile or two folks! Love Floribunda \0/x

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Brilliant Flori.......its the first time slugs have made me smile all summer. :0)))

27 Sep, 2012


Thats brilliant Floribunda so very true, last night I put our outside light on which lights up the back garden and to my amazment I saw a very large hedgehog running across the lawn I do hope he comes back tonight.))))O

27 Sep, 2012


Thought you might enjoy this Pam, and thank you Stripes for looking in too..If I didn't make a joke of this, I would cry! lol I swear that we are are Slug Central over here..There is humour in everything if we look deep enough so I keep telling myself lol.. Wish I had some hedgehogs here. Would give the slugs to my neighbours chickens, but he said they are very fussy..just my luck! Hope this made you smile...\0/x

27 Sep, 2012


Love the rhymes, wonderful pictures, makes them look even bigger!!

27 Sep, 2012


Hahahahaha..Thanks Lizziebee..They have eaten so many of my plants, that they really are this big, and there was you thinking it was just macro photography! I had to wrestle a couple of them to the ground to get these shots.. LOL! Thank you for looking in on me..\0/x

27 Sep, 2012


Lol brilliant FLori, can't bring myself to squish them,too messy, but I have got good at throwing them long distances onto the empty plot of land next door, a new sport snail lobbing lol.

27 Sep, 2012


Very clever Flori...:>)

27 Sep, 2012


that's brilliant! made me chuckle :-0

27 Sep, 2012


Ive been so buzy the last few weeks flori and with the rain AND running out of pellets i just left them to it!!!! OMG its the worst my garden has ever looked, not a plant left untouched, its heartbreaking to us gardeners, all the sowing, nurturing, digging and Bl**dy hard work in spring (HA) for nothing,!

Loved your Blog by the way and your poem made me laugh. Thanks for that, just what i needed :)

27 Sep, 2012


Hi there,me owd Mucker! :o) Note the terms of endearment haven't changed! Lol..lovely to see you on here again..and many Congratulations on winning a first for your poetry..well deserve it..just seen Richards blog..:o)..How come my slugs and snails made it all the way to your garden? They look identical..and I know I am a good lobber of these gobblers,I didn't know I was THAT good down for Olympics in Rio..a new alternative to the Javelin .! A brilliant poem Flori ,nice to have a giggle .Lol.x

27 Sep, 2012


Horrible beggars, lots of frogs around here so the slugs are at a disadvantage but I`ve never seen so many snails as we have this year, I also have a rant as I`m crunching them underfoot and nope, I do not feel guilty as I do it..
Your poem made me smile Flori...... Your photo`s are good but sorry I don`t like the subject, lol.....

27 Sep, 2012


So true Flori, and I love your gastropod poem too. These critters get everywhere especially this year my friend. I was putting some veg peelings in the compost bin today Flori after getting a faceful of cobweb on the way...yuck! when I opened the lid there were three huge orange slugs in there! Similar to Simbad above they have now been lobbed on the grassy patch of spare land outside the bottom of my garden!
Hope we get some sunshine soon as there is not much of this year left now .. :-)

27 Sep, 2012


Thank you all for some wonderful comments which have really made me chuckle..Being a gardener can be hard work when the wild-life just keeps fighting back, and some of my slugs and snails are absolutely fuming! hahahaha..
Bloomer, how you doing me owd cocker?Should have guessed that some of these molluscs were from you and that tennis arm of yours.. Can I lob them back????

How I wish that we had some frogs here L/lass, I was thinking of asking to borrow Stripes Hedgehog..It wouldn't so much run around our garden but waddle with the amount of slugs we have here..They are free to a good home if anyone wants some..!!! Any offers????

I think slugs and snail lobbing could well become a new Olympic sport as Bloomer suggested, Rich..Trouble is however, I hear that they sneak back...and bring their friends with them! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!\0/\0/\0/\0/

27 Sep, 2012


Thats true Flori.....they marked some snails and they were back in 24 hours. :0(

28 Sep, 2012


Loved the poem Flori it made me smile. I hate to tell you this but I have an army of frogs and hedgehogs in the garden and hardly any sluggy damage. Do you have a pond Flori? It sounds like you could do with some froggy friends but you will have to find your own as I don't think they travel well in Jiffy bags......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xxxxx

28 Sep, 2012


Hello Santan! Can you believe that we have THREE ponds in our garden and have only just recently found one little frog?! I did think about getting some frogspawn, but when they grow to tadpoles, I read that they eat each other unless you hang a piece of liver in the pond for them! Eek!!!!
Just imagine the mess when the Jiffy bag goes through the Franking machine..Yuk! Great to hear from you Annella and chuffed you liked the sluggy poem..Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!\0/x

28 Sep, 2012


Frog in the Franking machine, sounds like a scene from Gremlins Lol! The funny thing is I don't have any water in my garden but they all come in and party here, can't imagine why......

28 Sep, 2012


Great poem, and horrible photos lol we are on our 4th tub of pellets, I swear the slugs are getting larger by the day, apparently it is a national problem, so we are not alone, not that it helps to know this fact lol it is the yellow ones which are the worst, never seen them before this year.

28 Sep, 2012


Great poem, and horrible photos lol we are on our 4th tub of pellets, I swear the slugs are getting larger by the day, apparently it is a national problem, so we are not alone, not that it helps to know this fact lol it is the yellow ones which are the worst, never seen them before this year.

28 Sep, 2012


Excellent Flori ... written with feeling ! ;o)

29 Sep, 2012


Eh up Flori, loved your blog, rather fond of the blighters myself lol ...a little poem back to you from some of my friends:-)


If I'm big I'm Arion Ater
A gentle chap am I
I clear away all rotting things
manure and bad fungi.

If I'm small I am a wrong'un.
But a fellow's got to live
and I thank you generous gardener
For all you grow and give:-))

29 Sep, 2012


Annella, I laughed aloud at your post! Gremlins indeed! lol.. Could never understand why we had so few frogs when we have so much water and Slug Central living here too..You are sooooooooo lucky!

Horrible things aren't they Dd? They have taken advantage too as we have been so busy working on the house, they munched their way through the garden..I am a great believer in live and let live, but not necessarily when it comes to slimy slugs and such like..I'm not THAT spiritual! lol

Hi Terra! Lovely to see you my dear fiend, and believe me, every word was meant when it comes to these little blighters!

Hello Ba! Where you bin? Was missing your pearls of wisdom and they came in the form of a poem too! Is there no end to your outstanding talent?????
Course, I had to reply in kind..

'Being little is no crime,
but leave alone these plants of mine!
Wild fields there are aplenty..
so why MY garden must you empty?

The rain that's helping feed the ground,
unfortunately brings you round..
Your slimy trail you leave behind,
is evidence of your foul crime.

Live and let live has been my cry,
but slimy beastie has to die..
What good you do I've no idea,
but how I want you out of here!

I do not grow to feed your sort,
so flee my friend, before you're caught..
Forget your thanks for my repast..
That lunch of yours may be your last!' Hee Hee Hee...\0/x

30 Sep, 2012


What good do I do?
Need you ask?
I feed your hedgehog
Dreadful task:-(

The pretty songbirds
You like to see
do not turn up
their beaks at me

And not to mention
Frogs and toads
so think before
You write these odes:-))

30 Sep, 2012


Indeed I would but how I fear,
that hedgehogs never visit here,
and little songbirds that should call,
eat from my feeders, till they're full!

Indeed we have a tiny frog,
(if not been eaten by the dog..)
But he alone no difference makes,
if indeed he is awake!

No Federer from Terra's place,
has yet popped in to feed his face..
Mind you it's dodgy for a toad
to navigate our busy road.

So dear Ba, despite your clever ditty,
does not methinks evoke much pity..
But there's an answer don't you see?
I've sent them to you, a gift from me...\0/x

30 Sep, 2012


The postman calls...I'm so excited
A pressy from Flori...I'm so delighted
I've not been too well, she must have heard
So a gift she's sent with a cheering word \0/

Please get well soon the card will say
T'will make me feel better, I won't delay
It's kind of our Flori, so thoughtful too
I'll open it now.......Yuck gelatinous goo !!!! :-(

30 Sep, 2012


Gelatinous goo? Oh Sorry mate,
your slimy friends met a pressing fate,
Post Office Staff will get my thanks,
Sluggy glue cos they've been franked!

I'm sorry to hear you've not been well.
Poor Bornagain, in a sickly spell..
If I had known you were in your cups,
I'd have sent your slugs by Courier UPS!

But never fear for I have more,
Gave them directions to your door..
They did not need a Navigator,
they will get there (sooner or later..)

Think of the fun as they come hither..
as slowly up your path they slither..
Small ones, old ones, some so large
yet for this service Flori will not charge!

I'm sure BA Global will enjoy,
receiving Slugs from those at GOY..
Too kind you are, they'll never roam..
Once dear Ba gives them all a home. \0/x tee hee hee..

Get Well Soon! \0/\0/\0/\0/\0/xxxxxx

30 Sep, 2012


Oh flori you fool
These moluscs are lazy
By the time they creep here
I'll be pushing up daisies:-)

30 Sep, 2012


Perhaps in the Midlands your Sluggies are slow,
but here in deep Wiltshire you should see them go!
So often a blur, as they whizz past your feet,
as hungry for munchies, your plants they will eat..

Our Molluscs are forward, technologically sound,
no longer just slither so slow on the ground..
but don little helmets, and kneepads as well.
(Not so bad for snails, as they have their own shell)

And up on their Skateboards, do wheelies and all,
and cos they are little, not got far to fall..
So watch for the skidmarks up your garden drive..
It'll show you my sluggies have swiftly arrived!

1 Oct, 2012


Flori ... I`ve had such a laugh over your slug poems and the responses from BA its cheered me up no end, in fact I think I`ve come to like your slugs and snails.

1 Oct, 2012


you two are absolutely bonkers! Lol..but like Stroller,I've had a good laugh reading them all ...and great to have some humour back again ..just like old times..bring it on :o)

1 Oct, 2012


Ah Stroller and Bloomer, you both make me smile,
and I'm ever so glad you dropped by for a while..
That Ba keeps me active, keeps me on my toesies,
and now I'm in poetry-mode, not in proses!
I'm worried I may not be able to stop..
and this poor Sluggy blog will go over the top!
But if you're enjoying our poetical quips..
then happy is Flori, may it keep you in fits!
As for subject matter, your heart may not tug,
but could I interest you either in some of my Slugs?

Free to good home..Transport supplied..Will look after your garden a treat..Anyone interested???? PLEASE! LOL! \0/x

1 Oct, 2012


Oh Flo if only I had known
Before I built the moat
And filled it with salt water
To keep the ducks afloat

You'll have to send them somewhere else
A place without a moat
I'm a top MP and so you see
It cost me not one groat :-)

2 Oct, 2012


Oh my dear Ba, please worry not,
'tis all part of my plan..
Cos Wiltshire Slugs can also sail,
if not arrive by land.
Versatile these garden fiends,
so no problem is your moat.
They'll come by yacht,
at a rate of knots,
packed in their Mollusc boat! \0/x tee hee hee..

2 Oct, 2012


Flippin eck our Flori
will nothing put them off?
determined little beggars
To them my hat I doff

I know when I am beaten
The white flag I'll wave aloft
I'll welcome all who come here
You know my heart is soft.

I'll feed them on my finest plants
And when my gardens through
I'll pack my bags, yes Wiltshire bound.
I'll move right in with you:-))

2 Oct, 2012


You are not the sort my friend,
to be put off like that..
I do recall however your
strange love of funny hats..
It's when you say you're beaten,
that I must be on my guard...
Waving a white flag about,
is just your joker's card!

After much resistance
to suddenly give way,
makes me so suspicious..
It's subterfuge I'd say.
But to be on the safe side,
I think I better pack..
Cos now you've got my slimy Slugs..
I don't want the damn things back! \0/x

2 Oct, 2012


now here's a solution
to your tales of woe..
I have an idea
of where they should go.
send them to me
and then if I dare,
through passport control
with nowt to declare.
on to the ship,
it could be quite frantic,
then over the side
in the vast Atlantic..
If they make it from there,
or even to Rome,
quite frankly my dears,
they deserve to come home.! \o/

3 Oct, 2012


Ah my dear Bloomer,
indeed what an idea,
any solution
to get them from here..
But I do have a worry,
a little concern,
in case my dear Sluggies
indeed made a return..

What if in their travels
they met other mates?
And then formed an invasion,
what would be our fate?!
There would not be a green stalk
that hadn't been munched..
except for the weeds,
(cos they're a fussy old bunch!)

But to send them to Yorkshire,
might be an idea..
At least up in the 't'north',
they would be out of here!
What a brave soul,
Bloomer, you are a Star..
But think now she's got them,
they should all live with Ba! \0/x

3 Oct, 2012


I have really enjoyed reading your blog
and the photos have left me agog
Please excuse this reply
as no poet am I
But you do need to get in a frog

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xx

3 Oct, 2012


LOL, oh dear I`m cracking up here, I haven`t got your talent but lots of frogs raring to go out into the big wide world to earn their keep elsewhere, all now supplied with Mini Sydney Satnavs, fully charged, directions uploaded, all they ask is free rent and food thrown in for autumn and winter, they have to return home in the springtime, lol.....

3 Oct, 2012


Alas Annella, but one frog have I,
and I think that he's a vegetarian guy..
for no difference I've noticed, in their decline,
but got tracks a-plenty in my garden, in slime.
No Hedgehogs, no Chickens, what am I to do?
Is there a market for squidgy slug glue?
I do like all wildlife, but with one exception,
Molluscs, my friend are beyond all redemption!


Hello there Lincslass, you popped in so quick,
So glad that my blog tickles too your sharp wit..
Oh froggies a ton would be ever so good,
though my French is quite rusty, I'd be quite understood..
What a kind offer you'd be our salvation..
and stop all the sluggies taking o'er our nation.
If they were attached to a long bungee rope,
they could bounce back to you with a Frogs chorus croak!\0/x tee hee hee..

3 Oct, 2012


Ah yes Flori, maybe a chicken or two?
They'd soon gobble up all that goo
Fresh eggs every day
with no need to pay
And you could fertilize with their poo!

3 Oct, 2012


Funny you should say that, as indeed knew a pair,
that belong to my neighbour, but were seldom seen there.
They spent time in our garden and up in the trees,
and sluggies took cover, a quake in their knees.

But my neighbour felt guilty, that they often so strayed,
so now in a pen they both strut through their day.
I offered them sluggies, as had them by the ton,
but they really are fussy, got a delicate tum..

So no more surprises as I mow and lawn edge,
no more small collections of hens little eggs,
discovered in borders, as we pulled up a weed,
now Slugs are much braver, determined indeed!

Ho hum, what a sad tale that I now repeat,
my slugs are gigantic, have reached 20 feet!
I'll give them the garden and stay safe inside..
How did I get Slugs Genetically modified?????\0/x

3 Oct, 2012


Bloomer your offer brings tears to my eyes
To pack up our slugs the supreme sacrifice!
Slug burial at sea.. Im so proud you're my mate
For this is the spirit that made Britain great.

Lincslass your frogs sound courageous and grand
Proud British explorers to spread through the land
Seeking out gastropods greedy and cunning
gobbling them up without any warning

Annella my chickens ate worms with great speed
but turned up their noses at slugs snails and weeds
The eggs that they laid were both tasty and fine
I'm glad they weren't flavoured with gastropod slime

Should we have a vote on which idea is best
to rid all our gardens of this slimy pest?
My vote goes to Bloomer for burial at sea
Now which of you Goyers agrees that with me? :-)

3 Oct, 2012


Flori I see now the size of your problem
No chick of the size that's required to gobble'em
you must go back in time I think it's quite Practical
And bring back a bird that we called pterodactyl :-)

3 Oct, 2012


Help ....I think I'm going mad:-)

3 Oct, 2012


Heavens above!
This is Ba at her best!
She truly knows how
dear old Flori to test!

Going back to the ages,
when Dinosaurs walked,
and birds were like giants,
did not chirp but squawked!

I fear that their wingspan
is frightful and large..
as they swoop and they dive,
and then to the prey charge!

The Land time forgot
will be scary and dark,
Flori will have
her own Jurassic Park!

Pterodactyls will surely
make all sluggies pause..
But I fear the solution
could be worse than the cause! \0/ hahahaha..

3 Oct, 2012


Dear Ba, what is this that you dare to suggest?
that we should poor Bloomer at sea lay to rest?
To go down with the sluggies, just to see them no more,
some friend you are mate, Bloomer, please do ignore!

Such a sacrifice would indeed be noble I know,
but thought all the sluggies to your place could go..
And Lincslass, she offered a share of her frogs..
and Annella with Chickens, to help out this blog..

Indeed our great nation would be so improved,
if only the sluggies we all could remove..
No more night-time chumping, no more sluggy slime..
I live in hope of an answer on this page of mine! \0/x

3 Oct, 2012


I think Ba has missed a hole in the market here! All we need is a van and we could market ourselves as environmentally friendly slug removal agents (just mental in Ba's case). It would involve a lot of crawling round in the dark but the biggest outlay would be rubber gloves. We could be on the stock market by Xmas girls!! Any suggestions as to the company name? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

3 Oct, 2012


Down at the bottom
of the blue sea..
Only the slugs,Ba,
and surely,..not me?
and not only that,
I'm your little gem :o)
To whom would you chat,
and send a PM ? :O)))

3 Oct, 2012


Bloomer you've got it
that's indeed what I meant
Why does Flori assume
I have murd'rous intent?

To advertise the business
For a pic Ann could pose
Mona Lisa smiling
With a snail on her nose

A slug up each nostril
And two in her ears
Our business so prof'table
We'll be millionairs:-)

B.A. Environmental
Our future secured
And of course you're all welcome
To a seat on the board

So Flori the past
We'll leave well alone
we wont let big birdies
Destroy your nice home:-)

4 Oct, 2012


I wondered just when it would be,
that Ba added environmentally,
a company that dealt with this,
as not like her a chance to miss!

Annella should be now promoted,
we need gloves anti-slime coated..
Though crawling outside in the dark,
is not methinks a happy lark..

Perhaps we can spray them and they'd glow..
these sluggies light up as they go..
Would certainly be an easy trail,
I cannot see how we would fail!

We might have to rethink Santan's shoot,
as slugs up her nose is not too cute..
Something to grab the public gaze..
as slimy pests we will erase..

(And it really wasn't me who said,
about Bloomer on a deep sea bed..
Ba, that really wasn't nice,
for you mentioned her great sacrifice!)

I think this plan might need adjusting,
before we all go out Slug-busting..
But thank heavens, Big Bird I won't meet..
Sounds more to me like Sesame Street! \0/x hahahahaha..

4 Oct, 2012


I would be very happy to pose
but not with slugs up my nose
Knitted knee pads and gloves
Tankini above
and a bucket in which to dispose

Because I'm a classy chick not a big bird..... Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

5 Oct, 2012


Annella really has a point
Ba, about publicity,
I wouldn't want some slimy slug,
slithering there all over me..

She is such a classy chick,
and seeks perhaps a little fame,
not for her a hen house home,
to help promote your new campaign.

Perhaps her agent I could be..
negotiate a better deal.
Slugs, my fortune might yet make..
if I could just perfect my spiel!..\0/x

5 Oct, 2012


Your spiel is perfect Flori dear
You're flori Lauri that is clear
And Santana could sell ice to eskimos
Even without a slug up her nose

But I've moved on from moluscs
My business plan's fine
Im bidding 'gainst Branson
For the west Coast main Line:-))

5 Oct, 2012


Oh fickle Ba, alas alack..
on Molluscs you have turned your back?
Our Enterprise with Slugs and Snails..
has all at once now been derailed!

Dear Mr Branson, you are pitted,
against one who should be committed,
to rid our land of sluggy pests,
now in transportation she invests..

Our Ba's indeed a slippery eel,
she must know how a Mollusc feels..
But bright solution suddenly came..
We'll get rid of Slugs on Ba's newTrain!

We'll load the carriages one by one..
(though I agree, won't be much fun..)
We'll watch them going down the track..
and with luck, the damn things won't come back! \0/x

5 Oct, 2012


I would love to take the moluscs
but a ticket each they need
you'll need to pack a lunch box
with leaves and yuck to feed

When they all arrive at Holy Head
though rough seas can be scary
we'll send them off for a ferry trip
They'll be welcomed at Dun Laoghaire

The leprachauns need transport
The Irish love the craic
They don't need to travel quickly
For the Irish are laid back.

I'll make a pretty penny
'though your idea was a joke
I'm going to make my fortune
Selling slugs to little folk
:-)) x

6 Oct, 2012


Just don't send them to France.......
They wouldn't stand a chance.......

Sorry I,ve been away and slow on the uptake at the minute.......
But you should all hear my giggles. :0)))))))

8 Oct, 2012


lol...I've only read the blog......I'll have to go back and read all the later additions now! Added to my faves Flori! :)

8 Oct, 2012


Mental.....and very favourite lines so far....(I haven't the stamina to read it all in one go!).

"Perhaps in the Midlands your Sluggies are slow,
but here in deep Wiltshire you should see them go!"

LOL! :)

8 Oct, 2012


Sorry to hear you've been off colour Ba.......hope you soon feel better xxx

9 Oct, 2012


Thanks Pam, Flori's 'get well card' was not so nice lol:-)

9 Oct, 2012


Sorry that I've been delayed
replying to your post..
but been busy packing lunches
for our slimy little hosts..
I never thought that I would
have to feed them on your train..
I thought the motto of your lot was
'the train would take the strain'!

So 90 dozen later,
my garden now stripped bare..
And they have to have a ticket???
My friend, I'm pulling out my hair!
Because they compact so nicely,
I am sure one seat alone,
will take these little blighters,
to Irish lands, far from my home..

Ah,'tis Leprechauns a-waiting..
this transportation from our shores..
Slugs and snails at the dockside,
slimy trails from door to floor.
As they slither when embarking,
each will get a big surprise..
As a huge stamp will then squash 'em..
reading B.A. Enterprise! Tee hee hee! \0/x

12 Oct, 2012


Hello Pam, and Karen!
Glad that you could both look in,
I can hear your insane giggles..
at this blog done on a whim..
I know that you can empathise,
'bout these horrid little beasties..
Only good slug is a dead 'un,
mashed into a million pieces..!

Now I know they're all Gods creatures,
but why send them down to earth?
I'm sure there is a sluggy heaven,
even though they're often cursed!
And yet somehow I know my luck,
if reincarnation does exist..
Bet I'll come back as a Gastropod..
If I do then I'll be .....more than a little cheesed off I can tell you! \0/x LOL!

12 Oct, 2012


Flori lauri you're a marvel
and you have such winning ways
you're imagination, boundless
Such a Hum'rous turn of phrase

If you are reincarnated
(though we are all in the dark)
You will soar to heaven singing
A peerless new skylark! :-)

30 Oct, 2012


I always get so worried,
when dear old Ba gets sweet.
When kind words she has written..
makes me think she wants to creep.
Now if its about those Sluggies,
that in Ireland now reside..
I do not want them back again,
ownership I will deny!
And should I find that when I pass,
A feathered skylark I should be..
I'll take sweet revenge on all those slugs,
and have them for my tea! \0/x LOL!

31 Oct, 2012


Now on a blog re Autumn
Another poet writes
Words that rhyme
Nearly all the time
About sun that doesn't shine

This poet love the summer
And spring she likes the best
But when winter brings
Its cold and chills
She reaches for her vest......

Dear Flori must be careful
Her poets crown she'll lose
For Ba is that poet
Who's stepping in her shoes.....

2 Nov, 2012


LOL, keep it up girls, I`ve never laughed so much in ages..............

2 Nov, 2012


Hi Lincs
they say know

that laughter is
the best
to share with friends

and that we do...
and you can too...
but go dotty in the end..................

2 Nov, 2012


what really worries me is who's reading all this as the ad at the top of my page is about dementia.......

2 Nov, 2012


What talents . . . I'm speechless! Many thanks Flori, Pam - and Ba for telling me about this. Now I need a lie down in a darkened room :)))

2 Nov, 2012


Pam I get that ad as well, I think it was added to spite me as it appeared as soon as I got rid of the dating ads, lol..

2 Nov, 2012


I can see I have scared poor Ba off
with my wit so sparkling fresh..
And so good to see dear Lincslass and Pam,
and Sheilabub who needs to rest..

In a darkened room, she is hiding now..
While Sue and Pam, such trendy souls,
scratch their heads bemused, cos they're both confused,
at Goys ads for growing old!

And as for Ba, as dear Pam observed,
has turned from Slugs to Seasons plight..
As the year recedes, through the Autumn leaves,
her poetic blog, a pure delight..

It's so good to know that the humour gene,
through this thread is still running fine,
Yes, it may be daft, but it makes you laugh
at Flori-Lauri's talent for Rhyme! Tee hee hee\0/x

6 Nov, 2012


Scared me off?... you? ... are you talking to me?
I'm as brave as a lion, as bold as can be.
There's only one thing that can make me turn tail
That's a daddy long legs .... makes me scream without fail:-)

But you sparkling wit and your humour so fresh
Won't give me cold feet, don't make out I'm nesh.
If you think that I'm scared of your poems and prose
Just come here and say that... here's a punch on the nose! Ha! take that! :-)

6 Nov, 2012


I do not need reminding
That I am growing old

And wearing purple......with red hat
Is not just for the bold

That scary spiders with hairy legs
For Ba only seem to vex

Her as she warms her chilly feet
When pouring rain
Turns into sleet

So I agree
you see Flori
That autumn
just not spring

Its cold and dark
And damp
And dreich

In all
Its pretty grim

6 Nov, 2012


Bemused is the word that described me the best,
The ads were annoying so help was a request,
From Waddy it came, we all joined in the same,
I flitted around and had me quite a game.
So many options, I found to my joy,
They just sussed me out, defeated my ploy,
Oriental ladies, dementia, you know the rest,
Thanks go to Terra, Google Chrome is the Best...

LOL, Its dull, wet, dark and I needed a laugh, thanks for the entertainment, keep them coming....

6 Nov, 2012


Lovely Lincs
I like your style

Those westerners
Will run a mile.......

6 Nov, 2012



6 Nov, 2012


A new infection's running rife
affecting each GOY member
It came across from Wikinut
Flo brought it this November

I see new victims on this page
Poor Waddy, Lincs and Pam
You all must isolate yourselves
to save your fellow man.

For us it is too late you see
No vaccine yet is found
To still the brain and stop the words
From going round and round.

Our brains full up with words and rhymes
swell to a large diameter
then out they pour in doggerel form,
Not Iambic pentameter:-)

6 Nov, 2012


Our friend Ba is on a roll
She thinks big words are rather droll

A dictionary for her lunch
....the spine a little hard to crunch

Has got her rhyming to an fro
Her dogs just don't know where to go

I think the answers got to be
Alphabet soup for her tea......

6 Nov, 2012


What is alphabet soup?
I quite forgetti
Is it soup, that's just full
Of alphabetti spaghetti?

If that's all it is,
Then I must decline
for spaghetti was never
A favourite of mine

I prefer tagliatelle
or lasagna for best
Spaghetti would never
Pass B.A's taste test

For I find it quite slimy
Reminds me of those
Flori writes of with distaste
In poetry and prose

This blog of dear Floris
Declares war on their race
Oops, we're back where we started
A complete volte-face.

6 Nov, 2012


Oh dear, lol, I really don`t know where you find them all....

6 Nov, 2012


Oh Ba how could you
Call pasta a slug!

Its like saying a raisin
Is just like a bug

my pasta's "al dente"
I'll have you know

It needs to be cooked
Until its "just so"

The sauce is sublime
And healthy too

So creamy and yummy
And so good for you.....

7 Nov, 2012


Well pass it here then Pam dear
I'll just have a little taste mmm
Yes your spag bol's a GREAT CHIEFTAIN

You've deffo got the symptoms
Of the wikinut infection
You think in rhyme
and now it's time
For your sedative injection:-)

7 Nov, 2012


Thank you Ba
I think I do

The rhymes the rhymes
So many times

I really don't know
What to do

My shopping list
Its just so hard

I didn't want
A block of lard

Or bags of spuds
And fireworks.....duds

What can I do to stop it

I've tried the usual...
Reading prose

I even told it. Hoppit!

But sadly it is getting worse
That Flori's going to coppit!

7 Nov, 2012


lol Pam on GOY each blog I see
In my head forms a rhythm
and then alas a rhyme I grasp
This madness unremitting.

But where is Flo? how dare she go
after causing our downfall?
Mission complete, she beat a hasty retreat
over evil Wikinuts wall!

7 Nov, 2012



Where is Flo

Where did she go

What did we say

To send her away

With no goodbye

I think I may cry....... :0(

7 Nov, 2012


Do not so hasty cast me out,
I haven't done a turnabout..
Was chuffed to see that others too,
have added to our rhyming crew..

Well Sluggy pasta, that's a first..
I cannot think of something worse!
A meal with Ba, I wouldn't rate,
as Pasta Slug trailed off my plate..

And if by chance these slugs you caught,
disaster if you added salt!
Would there just be a liquid stew,
Not much left but Sluggy residue?

Alas, alack, I won't be rude..
but on Ba's meal I won't intrude
Though you're a mate you understand..
I'd rather have my lunch with Pam! \0/ LOL!

7 Nov, 2012


Pull yourself together Pam
Take brandy in small sips
Remember you are GOYish
We have stiff upper lips :-)

7 Nov, 2012


Pam, did you think that I would stray?
You know I couldn't keep away..
So dry those tears and do not weep..
It'll make you rusty while you sleep!
Stiff upper lips are all so fine..
but when you've got a conk like mine,
the problems it can cause galore,
I'll end up drinking through a straw!!!! \0/x

7 Nov, 2012


Well there you are
My dear Flori

I,m glad you're here
She bullies me

Slugs for breakfast
Lunch and tea

when I protest
feeds me brandy

(you know she always keeps some handy)

I'm worried too that for our dinner
Mushroom pasta....Usually a winner

But will I think
When on the plate

Its slugs.....not mushrooms
that I ate.........

7 Nov, 2012


Oh yucky yuck, oh what a thought!
Now we are in dilemma caught..
For we have sluggies on the brain,
not only active when it rains!

Wouldn't mind if they were nice..
cos they could even go with rice..
Or spread on toast so nice and thick..
(I think I'm going to be sick!)

Ba is the one responsible,
for pasta making slugs, recall..
For when I now attempt to snack..
I'm seeing Slugs all looking back!!!

Now what am I supposed to do?
To rid these visions, stuck like glue?
I wish that Ba could have stayed quiet..
Now all I want is a slug-free diet!..

So if I eventually fade and die,
and Goyers out there ask you why..
Pam, tell them that Ba caused us rife,
and I'm gonna haunt her all her life..

And in the form that I may take..
is sure her very bones to quake..
A spectral being that she will see..
A slimy slug of 5ft 3"! \0/ LOL!

7 Nov, 2012



7 Nov, 2012


I've got to face the sluggy pasta
I,ll just have to eat it fasta.......

7 Nov, 2012


Pam, I fear that if you gulp it fast,
it will return as your repast..
Perhaps in sauce it will disguise.
the sight of sluggies you so despise..

But if they're moving as they wriggle,
perhaps they just might make you giggle..
For those about to eat their tea,
It's all Ba's fault, as you can see!

I would never be so rude,
to mention Slug based enriched food..
So apologies on dear Ba's behalf..
But I hope this blog still makes you laugh! \0/xxx

7 Nov, 2012


It sure makes me laugh, trouble is it takes me ages cos I always start back at the top,lol....

8 Nov, 2012


I have to say the meal was slimy
And all my husband said was blimey.............

I took care to make the sauce quite nice
With chilli and another spice

With garlic and all that entails
For after all the French eat snails.......

8 Nov, 2012


Mais oui it's true it's snails they eat
But slugs are not a french mans treat
If you eat creepies just for fun gal
You'd best join Dories in the jungle

But you'll lose your whip I've heard them say
As the jungle's green, no shades of gray.
And Wikinuts lurk behind every tree
You're better off here Pam, in GOY, with me

Don't listen to Flori for her siren call
Would pull lovely GOYers over Wikinuts wall
This disease she has spread is part of her plan
To turn us to Wikis, each GOY girl and man.

Dear Lincs you must stop her, you are our last
For I see you're immune to the poetry trope
An antidote's needed, so if you'd be so good
You could make it by using your diluted blood

Wik'nuts must answer their crimes in The Hague
Yes the spreading of Wikinut bad rhyming plague
And Lincs you'd be knighted, you'd be made a Dame
Your portrait the first in the GOY Hall of Fame!

8 Nov, 2012


I thinks she's finally
Lost the plot

Poor Lincs to shed her blood
For what?

An antidote
To Wiki spread

Me thinks she'd better
Stay in bed

For slugs and snails
Cooked for her dinner

Would surely make
Her blood much thinner

And falling over she would be
And scaring all her family

The cats would howl
The dogs would bark

It wouldn't half
Be a lark......

For there's Ba
(Giggling tee hee)

hiding there
Behind that tree.....

8 Nov, 2012


These Wiki deeds I'm so accused,
is just Ba's brain, which is confused..
I used to rhyme in Goyers posts,
(poor lass, her memory's turned to toast.)

I fear she thinks I am not untrue,
and wikinutting all of you,
to join me on some other site..
and leave Ba here alone in plight..

But my heart here belongs to Goy,
so this is not some Wiki ploy..
I think she's worried I will beat her..
at clever rhymes in rhythmic metre..

Ha ha indeed she should now worry,
as we will add slugs to her curry..
The sluggy diet I cannot claim,
from another source it came!

Though in truth it would be great,
to rid me of this invertebrate..
But hadn't thought that slugs could be,
an option for your lunch and tea!

The French can go on eating snails..
but thoughts of slugfest makes me pale..
I'm leave the things that taste so foul..
for Ba's tastebuds alone, for now! \0/tee hee

8 Nov, 2012


I see that since
She blacked your name

And made your poetry
Fair game

She ups and offs
And goes away

To leave you now
In such dismay

That even slugs
You cannot eat

(although they proved to be a feat)

What I suggest
and undertake

to eat just cake
For Ba's sake..........

8 Nov, 2012


Now cake sounds much more to my taste,
than seeing sluggies move in haste,
in fact I know it will be yummy,
than slithering trails within my tummy!

Yes, that Ba casts such aspersions..
and then we're left with her desertion..
As innocent a soul can be,
Ba's tainted words cannot harm me..

But thanks dear friend for your support,
my dearest Pam, with kindly thought,
For you have made the 100th rhyme
Pity Ba couldn't make it this time!

A 100 posts on slugs and trails..
from what began a sorrowful tale..
Has taken flight, and though its daft,
by jingo, hasn't it made us laugh????? \0/xxx

8 Nov, 2012


Gosh Hurray \0/\0/\0/
I hit the Ton

does that mean
that ! have won

a cake dear Bev
from friend Ba

Who's totally DESERTED
us today......

8 Nov, 2012


I've been into Aldridge
at hairdressers, Lime
I now am a red head
I think I look fine

But it's really quite short
and I do feel a twit
So I've bought a new hat
'til it grows on a bit.

Like Mrs McCawber,
I'll never desert.
When you say that I would,
Well, my feelings are hurt.

To make me feel better
I had to partake
Of Greggs finest iced bun
filled with cream, What a cake!:-)

8 Nov, 2012


I think that she is hiding low..
and running scared no where to go..
To go against our poetic might,
I think indeed poor Ba took flight!

Or is she planning a retort..
waits unsuspecting, till we're caught,
upon her sharp poetic prose..
What's she planning, no-one knows!

But we must not reduce our guard,
or hoisted by our own petard..
But there is time to celebrate..
Our 100th rhyme, by you, Pam mate..

And what indeed could be the prize?
Now we could soon extemporise..
A Goyers gift that reached a tun..
who would have guessed when first begun?\0/xxx

8 Nov, 2012


A nice new wig Ba now adorns
a red head now, but she feels shorn!
Her fairish locks lay on the floor..
Lady Ba Godiver is no more..

Bet she's feeling now the draft
and has a matching hat and scarf..
But still is lovely even though,
her new red hair matches her nose! \@/ tee hee hee...

8 Nov, 2012


iced buns from greggs
what a treat for you

why for your friends
you could even take two

but belgian I'd like
to make me merry

because you see
it has a cherry.....

8 Nov, 2012


i going now
to cook the dinner
but will it be a saint or sinner

a lettuce leaf
or something tasty

whatever it will need be hasty.....

( I seem to have lost
the rhyming gift
a glass of wine
to heal the rift)

night night fellow poets xxx

8 Nov, 2012


'Twas belgian bun Pam,
How did you know?
A bun with a cherry
I couldn't forgo
And dried fruit a plenty
with a nice cup of tea
now what could be nicer
It sure does suit me
Which is more than I'll say
about my new hair
I just looked in my morror
it gave me a scare:-(

8 Nov, 2012




Between you and me


8 Nov, 2012


Oh no I feel spied on
I know what to do
I'll put a disguise on
Two fingers to you:-)

8 Nov, 2012


Oh Flori forgive me
I know I was wrong
Suspecting your Motives
'twas Pam all along

She's spying on us
Now the truth must be told
For Pam has come out
as The Wikinut mole:-)

8 Nov, 2012


The Wikinut Mole..oh how she must dig,
I don't think its Pam, but we're lifting the lid..
Talk of these cakes are now making me drool..
and I'm up to my neck in my very own pool!

To forgive and forget Ba, must make me divine,
but harsh were your words to this poor heart of mine..
But you are buddy, and a Nut just like me..
And now you are caught on Surveillance TV.

So smile for the cameras, and give us a pose..
(You could stand in for Rudolph, with the red of that nose..)
You know you're a stunner as this new look reveals..
'I'm ready for my Close Up now, Mr Demille!' \0/x

8 Nov, 2012


I,m not a mole
More of a hawk

(forgive me
Thats all talk)

My eyesights not
What it used to be

No 20:20
Now you see

But if its cake
And making merry

All I want
Is a little cherry......

My trip to Bruges
Was such fun

And gave me a taste
For belgian bun

(and chocolate too but thats another story. :0)

9 Nov, 2012


Lol friends again
A merry trio
At least we know
It's not one of we-o

And here's a lifebelt Flori dear
I wouldn't let you drown
Although Id like to be the one (theatrical aside)
To wear the Lauri crown

Get thee behind me Satan
For poor Flori is my friend
I'd be so darned unhappy
If I should cause her end

For who should praise my cherry nose
Or make me laugh out loud
To have a mate like Flori
Makes me feel both glad and proud

So grab the lifebelt Flori
And I will pull you out
Of the massive pool of Flori drool
For my heart is true and stout

We'll all pose for a photo
Now you've calmed my moley fears
Pam Ba and Flori Lauri
The three GOYish musketeers :-)

9 Nov, 2012


I bags Aramis......always better looking. :0)))

9 Nov, 2012


It was art group today
And I have to say

I made a blot
....what a clot

Clumsy too
Boo hoo

My lovely Avocet
I,m painting black and white

Was I thought to myself
Beginning to look alright

I was on a roll....

The delicate strokes
Black on white

A fright

Paint on my hand
Black you understand

Ruined....I say

Oh well say my pals
Only paper they say

Draw another
And paint another day.........

9 Nov, 2012


Lol Pam, what a shame
You are clumsy like me
Have you got any paintings
That we all can see? :-)

9 Nov, 2012


I could send you some photo's
I can't put them on Goy

If you pm me your address
I'll email employ

The paintings were shown
For the world all to see

But the cakes they sold better
With none left for me

The cafe was cheaper
, all donated and free

A profit was made
For models and fun

But I still can't sit painting
When out in the sun.....

Ouch! Need more coffee......

10 Nov, 2012

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