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BBQ And gardeners chat


By dungy


Hi Folks,
Well im back a little sooner than i thought i would be
But a good bit of the gardening is now looking tidy at our gite and after all a man cant live on just cornflakes so im home,
And i never sleep well when we’re apart.

Now anyone who is into gardening will tell you “garden” people like nothing better than to talk about gardening and pass on tips about how big their carrot’s are or how they could get hold of their plums and feel them when they think they are ripe enough?

Well if anyone know’s me they’ll tell you my interest in life are my classic bikes, my dogs and my gardening /pride & joy (my car)
& i can hold a good chat about any of them and have a laugh along the way,
In other words hold my own on any of these subjects,

Last night one of our english friends invited me (as i was on my own at the gite) to pop round and meet one of their friends and enjoy a bbq and a few drinks.

Well i arrived at their place (about 1/4 mile from our gite) And thats when i really met my match when it came to older mens chat.

Younger men will talk about sex all night long, but this bloke started off by saying to me,

Hello i think you and i are around the same age!!!!

Oh really i replied,
Yes he said have you had your hips done ???

Before i could reply he went on,
“How about your prosfates”, Do you pass water ok?

“Well i”

He continued, It’s the gland pressing on your tubes
“you know” it slow’s your pee’ing down.

Thank god the hoste came over and said,

“Im glad you two have got together”, our friend here

(that was me) has a fantastic garden so I bet he’s not stopped talking about his watering time table and how his dung is!! (just then his wife called out for him to help) So it was “excuse me” and off he went,

Oh i see you have problems with constipation do you!!

I was asked.
errrrrrrr not (I was cut off yet again as my new friend went on about drink lots of water etc) eat prunes, not sprouts or you’ll blowing off for france all night,
run a few miles every day, And you’ll be loose in no time.

I left the bbq, at about 1am feeling a bit like a car thats going for its MOT. “Will i pass or not”.

As i walked away having thanked the hoste for a lovely evening and then i heard a voice shouting to me

“Dont forget drink lots of water and see your doctor ref your waterworks”.

Yes it’s the first BBQ, ive been at and not talked about garden chat “but” i do know more now about water and consipation than i ever did in the past.

I think i’ll stick to good home grown veg and a good days gardening for all my inner workings thank you very much.

But to finsh this blogg, the hoste popped round this morning to tell me how much they enjoyed last night,
and then as he was going he said, "our friend you spent the night talking with!!!
You wouldnt think he’s had three heart attacks would you!!!!

Well you can’t win them all.

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I thought you had gone for 3 days. Good thing it was only an hour or so, that was bad enough.

14 May, 2013 steer clear of him next time!

14 May, 2013


Hi Dianebulley,
I was going for until wednesday evening but i got more done than i thought i would so mainly because for some strange reason we dont sleep very well when we're apart so i thought to hell with it and came home early.
(And i missed you lot also).

Honest ive never met anyone so into ill health, even when we had the drinks (I should explain im 100% a no drinker)
But the hoste knows this as do all my friends etc,

But when this chap asked if i'd drank vodka neat for long i made the mistake of telling him it was water i was drinking,
He replied at the top of his voice "You one day at a time people are to be admired"

The reason i dont drink was because after i'd had the hip opp on the 12 day of being in the hospital i was given a small bottle of wine with my last evening meal and for some reason just the smeel made me feel sick and ive not been able to drink anything except tea/coffee/ water.
I did have a chat with my doctor and he said this has happend before with some people and count my blessings,
But im not some kind of alcoholic holding a bottle to my head like a gun.
After he'd come out with his remark he then went and asked the hoste if it was through a bad relationship that i turned to booze!

Well one thing about gardening 'it can be done alone or as a team"
Just think if you we're part of a team with people who thought everyone was ill.?
Good night all, sleep tight.

14 May, 2013


Gordon Bennett !!!! no wonder you went home early, you were scared you'd get another invite for more entertaining chat, you wouldn't want matey cheering you up on a regular basis.....

14 May, 2013


As someone once said, referring to an 'odd-bod'

" He's French, thats whats the matter with him."

15 May, 2013

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