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a christmas fairy poem


love this funny poem
not sure where i first saw it and if it was on goy then apologies to whoever first blogged it but it’s worth sharing


I am a little fairy
On tap o’ the Christmas Tree
It’s no’ a job I fancy
Well how would you like tae be me?

A’m tarted up WI tinsel
It’s enough to mak ye boak
An a couple o’ jaggy branches
Rammed up the back o’ your froack.

An’ wi’a’ these lights a’roon me
I canna get my sleep
An’ there’s the yearly visit
Fae Santa – Big fat creep!

On Christmas Day I’m stuck up here
While you’re a a’wirin’ in
An’ naebody says "Hey you up there,-
Could you go a slug o’ gin?

It’s nae joke bein’ a fairy
The job’s beyond belief
Ye go ‘roon and ’roon the bairnies beds
An’ lift their rotten teeth.

But o’ a’ the joabs a fairy gets
An’ I’ve mentioned only some,
The very worst is up a tree
Wi’ pine needles up yir bum.

When a’ the fairies meet again
By the light of’ the silvery moon,
Ye can tell the Christmas fairies -
They’re the wans that canna sit doon.

The Christmas tree’s a bonny sight
As the firelight softly flickers
But think o’ me,- A’m stuck up here
Wi’ needles in my knickers !

So soon as Christmas time’s right by
An’ I stop bein’ sae full o’ cheer
I’ll get awa back tae Fairyland
An’ Ah’ll see yous a’ next year.


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A real genuine LOL - much needed. Needles in your knickers indeed...

13 Dec, 2012


I had to LOL Helen. Whoever penned it is a real wag. I'm glad I use a star at the top of our tree. I'd hate to be on the wrong end of that fairy's tongue. We Scots are great believers in educating the masses Bilbobaggins and we love being educated by other folks.
The first bit of Yorkshire I learned to say in a pretty authentic accent was 'I'm off t'it shops on't boos' sorry if spelling is not very good but I have never seen it written.
Have a happy Christmas Helen and all the best in 2013.

13 Dec, 2012


Just fab. Helen, I did try to say it with the accent too made it even funnier, LOL. so glad you shared it with us. Happy days. x

13 Dec, 2012


Helen....Love it...have sent it to Mum to see if she can adapt it for our local dialect back home! I will also enclose it in Glasgow Granny-in-law's Xmas card as I know she will love having a chuckle at it!

14 Dec, 2012


Love it! Love it! LOVE IT! Made me laugh out loud! Sent it to my two daughters as I know they'll love it too. But .... now I feel so sorry for the ancient Barbie dressed in a yellowing piece of lace who carries a small 'reindeer bell' and lives in a cardboard box in the boilerhouse all year with her face probably shoved up against a furry teddy with a 'Z-Z-Top' ruffle which makes her sneeze! And I never think to knock the pine needles out of her knickers before enclosing her in a plastic bag and consigning her to the dark for another year! I feel awful now! :o(

14 Dec, 2012


Brilliant, I just could not stop laughing, Merry Christmas Helen,

14 Dec, 2012


Now I'm thinking that the fairy light pushed up to illuminate my fairy's dress might be a tad warm Lol!! Merry Christmas Helen <:O}~

14 Dec, 2012


so glad everyone enjoyed it as much as I did lol
loved all your funny comments x

14 Dec, 2012


think I am going to take the fairy off my tree and replace it with a star, might be less painful.

14 Dec, 2012


Thank you, lovely poem, cheered everyone up this miserable weather.

14 Dec, 2012


Very funny Helen, I`ve had two goes at reading it to get the accent, I `m looking up at my tree and feel quite sorry for the poor fairy as she sits astride the top branch with a light up her skirt every year, lol..
Merry Christmas Helen , xx..

14 Dec, 2012


my tree has a small angel doll from before the 2nd world war. she is naked with gold plastic? wings and then we wrap her one turn around with tinsel and then use the rest of the tinsel to wrap her around the leading twig. Thinking now a bit 'joan of arc' at the stake. Then to add insult to injury the top fairy light above her head is a red light. oh lordy.

at least no pine needles in her knickers. Not nice as I know to my cost. And no I am not telling you that tale!!!!

14 Dec, 2012


lol Seaburngirl I'm intrigued !!!! :-))
love all your comments folks and wish I could hear all the attempts at the guid Scot's tongue lol

14 Dec, 2012


lets just say I was young and impetuous. fun before the pine needles took hold. ;p

14 Dec, 2012


I have had a chuckle to myself reading this poem Helen , would love to hear it in the real Scottish dialect, its a real party piece ;0))

15 Dec, 2012


That was just so funny!!! Thank you very much!!

15 Dec, 2012


It made me laugh too, and reminded me of the story of why we have a fairy on top of the tree.
It was when father Christmas and his fairy helper were handing out Christmas trees, they went round to every house, and gave everyone a christmas tree, when they had finished, the fairy had 1 tree left, and said to father Christmas, what shall I do with this one?.....
And that's wgy we have a fairy on top of the Christmas tree.

20 Dec, 2012

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