The Christmas Fairy

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Whilst we are all getting into the Festive Spirit, please spare a thought for all those fairies on the trees…

CHRISTMAS FAIRY

I am a little fairy
On tap o’ the Christmas Tree
It’s no’ a job I fancy
Well how would you like tae be me

A tarted up wi’ tinsel
It’s enough to mak ye boak
An a couple o’ jaggy branches
Rammed up the back o’ your frock

An’ these wee lights a’roon me
I canna get my sleep
An’ there’s the yearly visit
Fae Santa – Big fat creep!

On Christmas Day I’m stuck up here
While you’re a’ wirin’ in
An’ naebody says "Hey you up there
Could you go a slug o’ gin?

It’s nae joke bein’ a fairy
The job’s beyond belief
You’ve got to go roon’ the wean’s beds
An’ lift their rotten teeth

But o’ a’ the joabs a fairy gets
An’ I’ve mentioned only some
The very worst is sitting up a tree
Wi’ pine needles up yir bum

When a’ the fairies meet again
By the light of’ the silvery moon
Ye can tell the Christmas fairies
They’re the wans that canna sit doon

The Christmas tree’s a bonny sight
As the firelight softly flickers
But think o’ me I’m stuck up here
Wi’ needles in my knickers

So soon as Christmas time’s right by
An’ I stop bein’ sae full o’ cheer
I’ll get awa back tae Fairyland
An’ I’ll see yous a’ next year.

For those who need a translation…….

I am a little fairy
On top of the Christmas Tree
It’s not a job I fancy
How would you like to be me

All dressed up with Tinsel
It’s enough to make you sick
A couple of jagged branches
Rammed up the back of your dress

With all these lights around me
I can not get to sleep
And there’s the yearly visit
From Santa, the big fat creep!

On Christmas day I’m stuck up here
While you’re all tucking in
And nobody says ‘Hey you up there..
would you like a drink of gin?’

It’s no joke being a fairy
The jobs beyond belief
You’ve got to go round the childrens’ beds
and lift their rotten teeth

But of all the jobs a fairy gets
and I’ve only mentioned some
The very worst is sitting up a tree
with pine needles up your bum

When all the fairies meet again
by the light of the silvery moon
You can tell the christmas fairies
they’re the ones that can’t sit down

The christmas tree is a lovely sight
as the fire light softly flickers
but think of me, I’m stuck up here
with needles up my knickers

So soon as Christmas times gone by
and I stop being so full of cheer
I’ll get right back to fairy land
and see you all next year!

I hope this puts a little smile on your face. I can’t find an author for this – but just had to share :))

• 23 Dec, 2012
• 9 likes

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