Can anyone identify this critter?

Hi Spiderman. Have you tried here?:

http://wiki.britishspiders.org.uk/index.php5?title=Main_Page

I have but I wasn't sure if it was there or which it was.

Where in the house? I don't think it's dark enough to be a steatoda species (black widow), just in case you're thinking on those lines. Phil J

I do not want to be an alarmist but please be careful this is not a false widow spider as these are becoming more widespread in this country due to so called global warming,
The female can give a very nasty bite

ref Daily Mail

It must be a new species, its only got 7 legs.lol. Sorry couldnt resist it. However i hope you put it in the garden, I was just about to go to bed, scared now.

There are a range of spiders known as false widow spiders which this belongs to ..its commonly known as the biting spider will give a painful nip but not poisonous. Steatoda nobilis becoming more widespread in UK .Common in Mediterranean often imported in to UK so being near a busy port might explain this.

Thanks to all for your answers. I contacted the British Arachnological Society with the pictures and found that it is indeed a false widow but not one that is implicated in biting humans. The name of the spider is Steatoda Bipunctata.