what the hell is this

Possibly puff balls, fungus.

It does look like a rather wizened puffball Bruce...they are creamy white & round when fully grown but turn brown with a powdery inner when they go to spore.

I think that these are earth balls, a smaller relation of puff balls. They don't do any great harm and I don't know how you would get rid of them anyway.

Could be, Bulbaholic...if they are earth balls they are poisonous. :0(

Ooo - are we having a swear? Can I join in? Damn, blast, furry. Yes, this is a puffball or earthball - I believe puffballs (as apposed to earthballs) have a little hole in the top that the spores (the earthy powdery stuff) shoots out of. I find them absolutely facinating and I hope you will learn to love them - you are actually quite lucky!

Sid, looking at my comment I've only just noticed how offensive it looks ;~\ I've even separated the words!! looks like tourettes :-))) By the way I think I read once that puffballs were edible when young, but for gods sake don't just take my word for it Bruce. :-))

Thank you for pointing out Bornagain's comment, very funny :-).
Puffballs are very good to eat when the flesh is firm and creamy - they should be sliced and fried.
HOWEVER, I don't think any of us are quite correct on the id of this fungus; it is not brown enough for an earth ball and too small for a pufball - but it is related.
Don't consider eating it or its younger bretheren, Bruce, until someone local and knowlegable has properly identified it for you.

PMSL!!! I was referring (in my own strange little way) to Bruce's 'hell' in the question. I hadn't picked up on Bornagain's foe-pa!! Ha ha.....very funny..... x-D

Bulbaholic is quite right, although I would just point out that there are quite a few species of puffball - the large ones that are about the size of a football are indeed edible, but there are other ones that are quite small - smaller than a ping-pong ball say, but they are still puffballs. Haven't a clue whether they're edible tho....

What bothers me slightly is that this one does not seem to be perfectly round, as a puffball ought to be. It might just have been stepped on, or it might be something completely different! In fact, this ones looks rather like an old teabag to me..... lol

I notice there's no comeback from Bruce, perhaps I scared him off? Bruce, if you read this , I'm perfectly harmless, honest and my puffballs looked like this after they exploded. I don't know why but everything i write makes me feel like I'm in a carry on film ;-))

Cor-blimey!

:-)