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Not about gardening but a true story


By ozzey


I wrote this about 2 years ago when at my previous house, it happened around this time of year, its a hot April morning like last weekend, picture the scene…

Walking up the driveway to our house there is a farmer’s field on the left hand side, the field is separated from our drive firstly by an old wrought iron fence (about thigh height) and secondly by a poor attempt of a barbed wire fence (one strand, same
height) at the moment the farmer has 20 sheep with their lambs in the field so has also added an electric fence.

The farmer feeds the sheep late morning each day by walking up our drive, even sheep have enough intelligence to know the approximate time, but not enough to recognise the farmer so if I walk passed in the morning I whistle like the farmer and all the sheep franticly run from all over the field to be fed (I know it’s a bit mean but it is amusing to watch).

This morning I think the sheep got their amusement from me, I went to get over the fences, the first fence no problem, immediately all the sheep were on their feet running as fast as their fluffy little legs could carry them towards me.

The second fence of baggy barbed wire proved more difficult I lent on the nearest fence post and raised my foot to step over, the wobbly fence post moved a bit which caused the wire to tighten slightly and instead of stepping over, the barbed wire went between the sole of my sandaled foot and my toes, one barb proceed to stick in the ball of my foot the other lodged itself in the sole of my shoe, at this point gravity came into play and I fell forward. I had to stop myself causing serious damage to my foot by putting my hands into the field this added to my distress as the area was liberally sprinkled with stingy nettles, by now all the sheep were there, crowding around inches from my head baaing loudly and trying to eat my hair (possibly a market there for novelty sheep food).

I must have looked like I was making a half hearted attempt to be the wheel barrow in a wheel barrow race, as I contemplated how I was going to get out of this position and whether my foot hurt more than my hands, or was I going to be stuck for hours to be found (munched bald by marauding sheep) by a neighbour. I thought my position couldn’t really get much worse, until the first jolt from the electric fence zapped my chest (right across the nipples of course), my arms were just not long enough to get me off the electric fence and I knew I couldn’t take my time deciding how to get free (I was trapped long enough to find out that the electric fence zapped me every five seconds!), needless to say I finally freed my foot (not too much
blood) and escaped with little physical damage but mentally scarred for life.

I expect it was the tension of the moment or the blood pumping through my head from being upside down for too long but I’m sure the sheep’s baaing that was ringing in my ears sounded like laughter.

It was definitely one of those, ’You’ve been framed’
moments but without the video!!

More blog posts by ozzey

Next post: Thank you, Inspired by OB



Oh dear..... you must have been terrified but i just couldn't stop laughing as i read your blog. I agree the sheep must have been laughing too.

15 Apr, 2011


Are you sure you wasnt on youve been framed? What I would like to know is why you were going over the fence in the first place. I was feeling a bit down today but this has cheered me up no end and it is exactly the sort of thing that would happen to me. Seriously though I hope you are alright. from Rose1949

15 Apr, 2011


I'll just say (s)he(ep) who laughs last etc!!! (hope you feel better)x

15 Apr, 2011


nearly peed myself laughing,actualy had tears roll down my face,thankyou for cheering me up today,just as good as the time i shot my brother in the bum while rabbit hunting,gor i will have that pic in my head for weeks lol

15 Apr, 2011


Good grief! My sides are absolutely aching! This is hilarious! Brill blog! ;0) Hope the bleeding stops soon! Lol!

15 Apr, 2011


Oh i'm sorry but i laughed out loud especially the bit about the sheep eating your hair!!! Hope you weren't too hurt though (hee hee hee hee)

15 Apr, 2011


Sorry I had to laugh :D I hope you got over your escapade without too much distress.

16 Apr, 2011


LO VERY L!!!! Isn't it awful how much we laugh at a fall? I remember falling by the side of the road as I went to get into the car and being extremely annoyed at the laughter of the guy in the car behind - but then I must have looked so funny. I think we all need to laugh at ourselves a bit more. Hope you've recovered? :oD

16 Apr, 2011


This was hilarious - a great read for a sort of gloomy day!

17 Apr, 2011


what a story!! sorry you got hurt but it was a brilliant blog ~ i have ripped jeans trying to get over barbed wire fences but i didnt get eaten by the sheep
you should write a book!!

18 Apr, 2011


What an electrifying tale :) lol Glad there are no lasting issues from your trip up.

I have heard about the theory of cows licking a bald head to encourage hair growth....but sheep nibbling at your head of hair is a new one! I'm glad the farmer has been feeding them regularly or you may have had to lay down in a field of cows and put the other theory to the test.

Made for a good laugh...thanks for sharing.

18 Apr, 2011


LOL. Its easy for me to laugh I wasn`t stuck on the wire getting charged up, that`ll teach you not to go where you don`t belong, or if you really have to venture into the field take a set of steps with you.
You have a way of describing your antics which creates the whole scene so well I felt as though I was watching whilst you had your little dilemma, I know its naughty but I`m still laughing.....
Seriously though I hope your Tetanus jab is up to date as a cut from barbed wire could carry all sorts of nasty things

18 Apr, 2011


LOL.I know I wasn`t the one tangled up and getting my batteries charged up at the same time but you have described your dilemma so clearly I can see you in my mind, that`ll teach you not to try climbing over wire fences, if you really need to go into the field try taking a set of steps with you.
Enjoyed reading this and still having a chuckle....
On a serious note,I hope your Tetanus is up to date as nasty things lurk on wire fences......

18 Apr, 2011

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