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Thank you all so much.

28 comments


I just wanted to tell you about my Mum and the final celebration of her long life. I also wanted to say thank you to the lovely people on this site who have helped me so much during these last months when her health failed and when she passed away. The photo is how I shall remember her – it was taken when she was in her late 80s and shows her love of flowers!

Her funeral really was a Celebration of her long life – she didn’t quite make her century – and was not a sad service. I thought you might like to read the poem that my sister read during it to remind us that Mum grew up in the country (near Bristol). It was written by W.H. Henley as a memorial to his sister.

“A late lark twitters from the quiet skies:
And from the west,
Where the sun, his day’s work ended.
Lingers as in content,
There falls on the old, gray city
An influence luminous and serene,
A shining peace.

The smoke ascends
In a rosy-and-gold haze. The spires
Shine and are changed. In the valley
Shadows rise. The lark sings on. The sun,
Closing his benediction,
Sinks, and the darkening air
Thrills with a sense of the triumphing night-
Night with her train of stars
And her great gift of sleep.

So may be my passing!
My task accomplish’d and the long day done,
My wages taken, and in my heart
Some late lark singing,
Let me be gather’d to the quiet west,
The sundown splendid and serene,
Death".

*

Outside the church door, we placed a small table with her photo on it and I surrounded it with flowers.

Mum would have liked that – she loved flowers, and always grew some in pots and tubs on her tiny patio outside her french doors. In the last two years when she was getting frail, it was my pleasure to plant up her pots for her each autumn and summer.

When she had to go into the Care Home, there were always flowers in her room and on her 99th birthday it looked like a flower shop!
Well, her life has ended, but she will never be forgotten. Of course I have a huge hole in my life, I am grieving for her and I will miss her, but she gave me a legacy – now where did I get my love of flowers from, do you think?

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Comments

 

Spritz ~

This is a wonderful tribute to a very special Mum.

I'm sure she's watching over you and approves of this blog, and the flowers and the fact that you continue her love of plants and gardens.

It's good to know you have so many happy memories.

all best wishes, Terratoonie. xxx

7 Oct, 2008

 

She sounds such a lovely lady, and you had a lovely celebration of her life. You are so lucky to have had her in your life to such an old age, my own mum died when she was just 65. But it is hard whenever the time comes! The legacy she left you is wonderful,what better way to remember a loved one than by being surrounded by a beautiful garden!

7 Oct, 2008

amy
Amy
 

Spritz I wanted to cry when I read your blog , my own mother died when I was 3 , I would give anything to have had a lovely mother like yours for all those years ,so be happy for her and for yourself for the years you have had together .

7 Oct, 2008

 

Spritz -
These words are so true:
"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
Let all your memories be cherished ones.

7 Oct, 2008

 

Hugs&Kiss Barbara ,Im Speechless @the Site of such a Lovely Life which is still liveing on In You :D Welcome Back2GOY my Dear Friend XXX

7 Oct, 2008

 

Your mother must have been a wonderful lady.
It's nice that her funeral was a celebration of her life.
Planting tubs of flowers is a lovely thing to do for someone, and a nice way of remembering them aswell.
Thank you for telling us about her.

7 Oct, 2008

 

How lovely - and you have filled my eyes with tears. You are lucky to have enjoyed your Mum's company for so many years. I still have my Mum (despite several cancer episodes) and treasure my time with her - and, like you, she gave me my love of gardening and flowers. I hope you can gather solace in your garden.

Here's to our Mums!

7 Oct, 2008

 

I'm ever so sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you gave her a great send off. Reading your blog makes me remember how special my mum is. She is 71 and is going to have a new knee on monday. All our mums are special but sometimes we forget just how special.

7 Oct, 2008

 

Hi spritz welcome back, what a lovely funeral for your mum, like i said before my mum past away 24yrs ago at 71yrs, and reading your blog made my eyes fill with tears because all this time since my mum went, i love and miss
her so much.

7 Oct, 2008

 

Spritz what a wonderful tribute to your muns life. she seemed such a beautiful person. and she will go on living thru you and all your wonderful memories of her.

7 Oct, 2008

 

Spritzhenry, that was a wonderful blog. The poem was touching and so is the picture with the flowers. You must have thought your mother was garanteed to live for ever, as she reached such a great age. Then suddenly a gap falls and even though her life was full and you have been able to enjoy her to the last, it will be hard to believe the last curtain has fallen. You will have some grieving to do, she will be sadly missed, despite the fact you have been celebrating her life. Best wishes in your loss.
Clarice, how sad your mother died at such a young age. That's nothing these days, really. My mother just turned 90 and I hope she will follow Spritzhenry's mothers example. We all have only one mother and may we all enjoy them for as long a time as possible.

7 Oct, 2008

 

99 years - what a great achievement ! How proud you must have been of her.

7 Oct, 2008

 

Oh yes, of course, but the last 10 months have been very hard - she had a bad fall and broke her sternum, was in hospital for weeks and was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia so we really lost her a while ago. Before her fall she always talked about getting her telegram from the Queen and started planning her party last Christmas for next June!!!

7 Oct, 2008

 

What a lovely tribute and such a wonderful photo love your choice of poem as your mum looks serene in this.
So glad you able to celebrate her life as dementia a cruel illness that denies the sufferer recall.

I have one small photo of my mother prior to the onset of her illness , in which she too looks at peace and in harmony with her surroundings . A magical moment forever captured these really are our heirlooms.

7 Oct, 2008

 

Dear Spritz,
How lovely to read all about your Mum in your blog. 99 - what a fantastic life! It's still so hard to lose them at any age isn't it.? My Mum was always on my side - I miss that. I try to be like that to my daughters and I suppose thats what she taught me. Your Mum was so obviously your friend too wiht a lot of love between you and thats what stays with you.
Jo x

7 Oct, 2008

 

I commiserate with you Spritz - my mother passed away last November after fourteen months of hospitalisation and being in a care home and she, too, had a form of dementia for most of that time and didn't know who I was. I treasure her memory and wish every day that we had been able to bring her to this Paradise we live in as I know she would have loved it. Memories are so precious.

8 Oct, 2008

 

Spritz, I`m sure you will have a wonderful garden party next June in her honour!

8 Oct, 2008

 

I'm sorry to have read belatedly of your loss, Spritz. It is difficult coping with a loved one with dementia. But, what a wonderful lady she seems to have been. Little wonder, then, that you take after her in so many ways.

8 Oct, 2008

 

Andrea, I was able to tell her that the garden had been accepted by the NGS - I'm not too sure that she understood - but when we open in June, it will be close to her birthday and that will be special.
David - thank you. She got her love of gardening and flowers from her father so it has been passed on. (Our two are NOT gardeners sadly!) And yes, she was wonderful - so strong and independent until the fall. Dementia is a cruel, cruel thing.

8 Oct, 2008

Ams
Ams
 

Sorry to read about your sad loss Spritz, many of us understand your hurt.

8 Oct, 2008

 

Hi Spritz.
We have been thinking about you during this sad time. You have some lovely memories of your mum. We have become friends as a result of our membership on this site, and we happen to know how caring and kind you are, so your mum was also blessed to have such a lovely daughter.
We are aware that you also worked so hard to comfort, support and nurse her through her time of great need when she was battling with her illness, so this is our tribute to you.
When we saw the lovely photo of your mum we both remarked on the family resemblance.
When you open your garden for the N.G.S next year it will also be a lovely way of celebrating your mothers life as well.
We will be there to support you.
With fondest love and best wishes,
Grenville & Alan.
xxxx

9 Oct, 2008

 

She`ll be watching I`m sure when you open your garden, and how proud she will be!

9 Oct, 2008

 

My condolences on the loss of your mum, Spritzhenry. The poem is beautiful - and your mum looks a lovely lady in her photo.

She reminds me of my own grandmothers, who both loved flowers, one passed away in 1997 at age 83 and the other last September at age 92. And also of my grandfather, who like your mum, lived to be 99! He died last year in December.

What a blessing to have had such a long life!

9 Oct, 2008

Sid
Sid
 

So sorry for your loss Barbara. The poem was beautiful.

9 Oct, 2008

 

Im really sorry for your loss, I lost my mum when iwas 28yrs old she passed 2weeks befor her 50th brithday,that was 20 years ago, she would have been 70, on sept 4th, but saying that, it still feels like yesterday and i miss her as much, you never forget but in time things get easyer,
But you have your garden to remember her in, which is lovely and she looked beauiful in her photo.

10 Oct, 2008

 

I am so sorry for your loss but what a wonderful lady she sounded and the poem was awesome in the modern world we tend not to take time to apreciate what is really important in life and thanks to your wonderful piece i feel you have helped us all to put in prospective what is really important and presious to us all LIFE AND Love thankyou.

12 Oct, 2008

 

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum Spritz. As Jacque wrote, your mum lives on within you. To live in the hearts we leave behind is never to die. May your memories comfort you.

14 Oct, 2008

 

Barbara; I've been poking about in your photos and came across the photo of your mum. I too have only lovely memories of the marvelous lady we call mum. I can say by what I read you have done as much as a loving daughter could do for their mum.
My mother passed away at 74yrs back in 97 I got the call why I was on my vacation in the mountains. I was lucky that I was able to get some cell service in this one area and that is when I got the news my father was gone at the age of 80yrs. I packed up and rushed back to the city had a shower packed a suitcase for Toronto 3200 kms away. Just prior to leaving the house I received a second call that my mother just passed away. I was devastated to say the least. I could not keep my composure at the airport. The Airlines (Air Canada) put me on the first flight available first class at a discount rate less than economy class. I was treated with such warmth and kindness through out the whole trip.
When I arrived I was told my father died of complications to Alzheimer's Dementia and my mother died of a massive heart attack soon after. I was told it was because she probably died of a broken heart. My mother was very frail and was on heart meds for years and suffered age dementia.
When I saw the photo of your mum it made me think of my mum sitting next to a wheel barrow I gave her years ago to plant her flowers in. I just told this story to Jacque as she recently built a wheel barrow. I found the white gloves she was wearing in the photo so I attached them to the frame. I plan to scan the photo (my scanner is not working) soon so I can upload it to GOY. All the best to you Barbara and I will say a prayer for you on Christmas day when I'm praying to my folks. Cheers!
P.S. there is a lot of love above me with posts from all the GOY members. It not fantastic to share so much in this forum and from such distances away, God Bless. Rob

24 Dec, 2008

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