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My take on the humble commuter

pip_c

By pip_c

18 comments


Last month I was accepted into a one-year course – Diploma of Business – yay!!!! This means that for four days a week next year I will take the train into town, followed by a short bus ride to the business college where I will be studying. (I’ll probably walk most of the time though – buses are expensive!) This makes me, in my humble estimation, a commuter.

I don’t know about anyone else, but commuters have a certain stereotype – at least to me they do.
Their day starts at 6am, when they roll out of bed as slowly as possible, and women don a smart business suit with a silky blouse. (Men just try to find a tie that wasn’t a Father’s Day gift.)
Needing coffee, they struggle downstairs only to catch a glimpse of themselves in the hall mirror. Oh my gosh! My hair!
Men have it so easy. They reach for their emergency brush behind the toaster, while all over the country hair straighteners are plugged in feverishly – I mean, the train leaves in 20 minutes! After a frantic coiffeuring of the cockatoo crest they seem to have acquired overnight, the girls leave the house with platinum blonde hair swinging jauntily, perfectly straight and unbroken due to a large amount of hairspray.
By the time the commuters all reach the station, they have perfected the calm, composed, businesslike look that will be their best friend for the rest of the day. Buying a hideously expensive coffee from the stand on the platform, they sip its lifegiving caffeine, glancing up and down the tracks at intervals through – in the females’ case – heavily made-up eyes. Somehow, the paper cup of coffee is always finished at exactly the right time, making it possible to daintily throw it in the garbage and board the train in one swift, fluent move.
Taking a seat on the aisle to avoid the glaring sun filtering through the graffitied window, they pull out a black folder that signifies their importance as an executive figure. Carefully studying a spreadsheet, they pull out of their handbag/briefcase the Up’n’Go they just had time to throw in before leaving the house. They carefully sip it behind the folder, careful not to let anyone notice them, always projecting a ‘Of course I was up in time to eat a proper breakfast’ look. All the other commuters were evidently up in time for a morning run and a good cooked breakfast – I must be careful not to give anything away.
Their composure, which seems so effortless, lasts until they arrive at the bus stop or taxi rank. Where is that bus? Have all the taxi drivers gone on strike? I’m GOING TO BE LATE!!!! Thoughts soon turn to words and oh dear! Didn’t mean to swear like that. Sorry, God. Hope no-one noticed. WHERE IS THAT BLINKING BUS? Hair starts to work its way loose from its styling as they fidget and make comments to no-one about the state of the public transport in this country. Government ought to do something.
The second commute gives them time to regain composure. They are smiling and inwardly groaning as they walk up the front steps of a Sydney skyscraper, no doubt to deal with ignorant copyboys, tyrants who call themselves bosses, and whingy workmates.
But that’s another story.

Hope you had a good laugh, and if any of you are commuters, please don’t feel insulted!

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Comments

 

That was fantastic Pip It gave me a good laugh to start the day , thanks.:0))

2 Oct, 2010

 

Thankfully I don't have to commute and can wait for the ' roads to be aired' before venturing out!--- luckily when I need to go tho the city my village has a railway station (no coffee -- or seat for that matter!) but it only takes 15 minutes certainly quicker than cars & buses--- Dr Beeching should never have axed the branch lines!!
All my good wishes for your new venture I'm sure you'll Ace it :0)))

2 Oct, 2010

 

Yes, best wishes for the business course Pip. Enjoyed your blog....so glad I don't have to commute. Our train station is on the beach. I would find it terribly hard not to just kick off the heels and go for a paddle instead!!

2 Oct, 2010

 

That was so good to read Pip,and it is just what I imagine it is like .It made me smile,and you have a great way with words,my friend.Good luck in your new venture,I'm sure you will do well...:o))

2 Oct, 2010

 

Well done Pip, I really enjoyed reading that, you described the journey so well I could picture it. All the best with your course.........

2 Oct, 2010

 

Good luck with that Pip ... hope the commuting is hassle - free for you!

I love my 40 minute drive to work in the early morning ... there's hardly anyone about & I see lots of wildlife! Not the kind you'd see suited & booted on your route tho!! ;o))

2 Oct, 2010

 

Thanks everyone, so glad you enjoyed my bit of nuttiness, and thanks for all the good wishes. I'm sure I'll go far with such a great group of people behind me :o))))))

3 Oct, 2010

 

have fun with the study Pip - and keep watching and writing LOL - and know that we who are not city bound applaud your 'commuters' morning efforts - while thanking whatever deity that we are immune from such torture!! Cheers - Cate =)

3 Oct, 2010

 

I spent years commuting on the London tube and the only way I could deal with it was to plug in my Walkman and listen to the Classics which transported me to a place of beauty - a far cry from the reality! The only time during commuting when my face relaxed enough to smile was once I was off the train, on the way home in my car and could see the beginning of the countryside - with the knowledge that I would soon be surrounded by green. :o)

3 Oct, 2010

 

Thanks Cate and Nariz :o)

4 Oct, 2010

 

Pip, I am so very proud of you! Wonderful news, and exceptional blog, written brilliantly~I could see it all too....Clever writing my dear Aussie chum! Really loved this blog! Made me smile a lot! :~))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))X

5 Oct, 2010

 

I'm glad it made you smile Flori!!!!

6 Oct, 2010

 

Oh Pip....you are a brilliant writer...I was with you every inch of the track! I'm pleased for you to be starting with a new course and wish you a happy time of studies.....and no commutes like the one you've just described, to my amusement.

11 Oct, 2010

 

Thanks Whistonlass - I had fun writing it :o) Glad I could give you a giggle

11 Oct, 2010

 

Great observations and a brilliant read Pip, well done ! All the best on your course.

12 Oct, 2010

 

Thanks Sb :o)

12 Oct, 2010

 

Hi Pip, just catching up8~/ Are you sure you want to join them!!!!???? I think you are meant for better things, but whatever you do , I'm sure you'll be successful:-))

21 Nov, 2010

 

:o)))) Thanks Ba...

21 Nov, 2010

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