The Garden Community for Garden Lovers

Where have all the flowers gone?


The garden has a decided autumnal feel to it today, overcast and quite blustery. Not too cold though which is fine. I have not blogged in ages – life has been too hectic.

Mother is now in a wheelchair which she refers to as her ‘chariot’ which seems about right as she also treats the pusher (me) like a roman slave. She has taken to screaming if we go over any bumpy ground, which can include the bumps at a pedestrian crossing. I have not yet got used to the stares of passers-by as they reach for their phones to call help the aged: “old lady being strangled …”.

She has regressed to the mental age of a three-year-old now and when faced with disappointment, has to be placated with a sweet or the promise of an outing tomorrow.

Screaming seems to be her ‘thing’ at the moment. This morning I was hanging out washing and heard her squealing; I hurried to unload an armload of wet bedding, more screams, so I dumped the lot on the floor and rushed in to identify trauma. It turns out she was letting me know I had dropped a pillow case!

She also has started muttering to herself; this morning she was deep in conversation with who knows whom. about the fact that she felt like a tart – apple it was then.

She used to be a keen gardener herself but these days she cannot recognise any plant let alone name it. Dead heading is forbidden to her as she cannot distinguish between a faded bloom and a bud, but if the sun is shining she will allow me to get her coat and push he round the garden as I weed.

I still manage to do a bit most days and am keeping up with my website:, but it seems unlikely to improve our standard of living no matter how much I contribute to it. I do love doing it though and when I get a comment on a blog I am delirious!

The worst garden issue this year has been the greenhouse which has been neglected and I fear we will have very few tomatoes. Never mind there are always the beans and the plums were fantastic!

More blog posts by gardenmad1

Previous post: Bougainvillea Blooming

Next post: A Long Absence From The Garden



oh dear sounds like u got your hands full.;-((

30 Aug, 2009


I do sympathise mum is nowhere near that stage but I can see it coming. It's such a shame how they change.

30 Aug, 2009


My mother's almost there too - she has no idea where she lives, thinks she's in someone else's flat, has no idea if she's eaten or not, or whether anyone's visited, remembers nothing - you answer a question, she immediately asks it again. We're just waiting for the day when she fails to recognise us at all.
What's horrifying is how difficult it is to find solutions to deal with the situation - if you have your mother living with you, you are a very brave and dedicated woman.
I'm close enough in years to look down the road and see what might be coming, and it is totally depressing if I think about it too much. My father died of emphysema - think that was better, really, at least he knew what was going on. It's convinced me to carry on smoking - well that's my excuse, anyway!!
I don't know how you manage to do any gardening at all, in the circumstances, and am full of admiration if you do.

30 Aug, 2009


Oh dear.....this scenario is sad.......I'm lucky enough not to have experienced really ageing parents.....but unlucky to have lost them, both together, in a car accident when they were in late 70's/ early 80's...10 years ago. A blessing in disguise I wonder....

30 Aug, 2009


I wouldn't mind that exit myself, if it was quick - as you get older, it's not a question of when so much as how that preoccupies one's thoughts - well, mine anyway! Big shock for you though Amblealice, but better for your parents, I'd guess. Still, we're all breathing and functioning (more or less) so let's just cheer up a bit if we can;-)

30 Aug, 2009


Maybe go together like that instead of one going first & the other missing them so much...not to face the ravages that old age can bring...who knows?
My mum is 85 & lives in an old cottage very near to me so at the moment she is ok on here brother lives next door...but she is getting as Bamboo describes her mother & the time will come when I have to make other plans.
I think you are amazing to get any gardening done too Gardenmad...caring is very time-consuming & exhausting.

30 Aug, 2009


That must have been dreadful for you at the time AA but as you say, maybe for the best. My father died when I was 25 and my mother died when I was 41 so I have been without them for a very long time and have missed them both very much. When I read your problems GM and those of you others and some of my friends, I realise there is some consolation in my own situation. I wish I had had them for longer though.

30 Aug, 2009


I can sympathise with you about your mother. I remember how it was with mine - and with my father aswel. You have to laugh though don't you. My mother died a few weeks ago. I'll always remember the funny bits :o)

31 Aug, 2009

Add a comment

Recent posts by gardenmad1

Members who like this blog

  • Gardening with friends since
    21 Jun, 2009

  • Gardening with friends since
    29 Mar, 2008

  • Gardening with friends since
    10 Oct, 2008