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Do you know of anyone that makes you feel ill?


By dungy


Greeting dibber users,
Well ive no doubt someone up there was very keen on making today a dark day.

Not only “C Mon” and her telephone saga, but Dear john called round this after noon to ask a favour “again”

He wasn’t sure but he thought some ex-pat may have died and wanted me to take him to the cemitary to see if we could find him!!!!!!

Another “Hello are you there thing”

His wife wanted a girls chat with mine as she was worried about john and his lack of interest in life,
She told my wife “JOHN” hasn’t got the interest ive got in gardening or anything eles, he’s even sleeping in their spare room now!

The last time i saw this spare room it only had a cot in it.

John wanted me to drive and i pointed out i was’nt insured to drive his car!

“No your not” he replied,
We’d better go in yours then.

We drove for about half hour and arrived at the dead centre of some village,

After walking around all these graves we didnt find his long lost friend who he didnt know that well anyway,

He’d just met this chap outside the fish & chip van that visits out village every two weeks and all the ex-pats gather to remember english chip shops and exchange stories about verious mushy pea gossip.

We started to drive back and john said he may be in that cemitary soon!
It’s my phostate’s its not working properly and its a known killer of men our age “he said”.

Do you have a long wait when you go to the loo? He asked.

No I book the loo well in advance and im not going to deaths door in the near future because ive a garden to sort out, Now can we talk about some other subject please john.?

It was silence most of the way home,
It was only when i’d turned the engine off that i noticed he fell asleep,

What a day, Roll on sunday.

My dear dear wife asked me if John went to the toilet while we we’re looking for his friend,?

No he didn’t as far as i know, im not his minder,

It’s just that “trish” was saying Johns nearly wet himself a few times this week and i know what your like ref your car seats!

Lucky enough they’re leather and ive checked them and they are dry.

What a day.
I hope you’ve all had a better day.

More blog posts by dungy

Previous post: Hello anyone there!!!

Next post: A smashing day had by us.



No. I try to look for the good in people. (Hint)

22 Jun, 2013


I have to agree with Diane on this one Dungy....

22 Jun, 2013


It sounds to me as though that poor man is scared to death doesn't know what to do, is obviously not comfortable telling his wife and needs help, he has told you the reason and I guess thats also the reason he is sleeping in the spare room, it seems someone should have stern but tactful words with his wife and get him seen by someone before its too late.

22 Jun, 2013


Yes, it's clear the poor man needs to go to the doctor. Hope he gets the help he needs soon. He was probably being very brave telling you about his problem, maybe next time you see him try to persuade him to seek medical help? I'm sure there's something they could do to help him, but he shouldn't leave it till he can't go at all or he'll need an emergency trip to A&E!!

22 Jun, 2013


Hello folks,
sometimes we cant see the trees for the woods,
Knowing john the way i do i thought he was just having another moan, "But" reading your threads i think ive got it wrong,
Men dont do doctors until its a bit late in the day,

Anyway the cars coming out "ive just phoned him" and said ive something i need to talk to him about,(just him & me)
Our wives can sip tea and talk about womens things while i take him for a walk around the town of LA-CHATRE?
He likes it there and on a sunday its like a ghost town but the little cafe on the square is open for a while (and they've a loo)
So i'll let you know the outcome of all this,
if you see a chap with a black eye it'll be me and you'll know never to get involved with other peoples private problems,

23 Jun, 2013


Thay may happen (be sure to duck) but if it was a cry for help at least you will have tried

23 Jun, 2013


Good luck Dungy, do let us know how it goes! Even if you get a black eye (which I doubt!) you're doing the right thing.

23 Jun, 2013


Yes, sounds like John needs a good friend at the moment, well done for stepping up to the mark. Hope all goes well.

23 Jun, 2013


Lets hope its only a minor problem Dungy, its better to be safe than sorry, he probably needs another mans input on what is the norm at his age and just a shove in the right direction, put it this way if you didn't help and the worse came to the worse you would I think feel guilty, if he refuses to listen to you then its his own fault but at least you would have tried, good luck anyway but I personally think you are doing the right thing.....

23 Jun, 2013


Hi folks
Im home and ref john and his problem!
Well i took him for the drive and the coffee in a little outside table we're you just watch the world go by,

I thought it was going to be difficult to bring the subject up of why i was sitting "on a sunday" outside a cafe with john drinking coffee "when i young lad went by in a wheelchair" No legs and half an arm,

John said to me "christ" would life be worth living if you had that to live with, i wonder how it happend!

That was my chance and so i went in all guns blazing,
"Well John",
that lad didn't have a chance to stop what ever did that to him, But he's trying to get on with whats left,
And thats thanks to doctors doing their job and him not stopping them.

What are you going to do John?
Your in need of a doctor and quick and you know it,

As I looked at his face i could see he had a bit of grit in his eye (big boys dont cry 'it's just grit)

He said he thought it was a bit late in the day at 65.
Again the old military gift of saying it as it is came out and i told him his problem was he's not a doctor and they are the only one's to tell him if it was to late or not and anyway tomorrow im phoning up my doctor to make an appointment for both of us to go and get this sorted,

He then said i didnt know you had the same!
Ive not i replied, but you need help and i need to sleep at night and the both of us can do these things if we help each other out,
So when the appointment is made your going to keep it and i'll be with you so drink your coffee.

He smiled and said i sounded like that woman in last of the summer wine when she tells her daughter to drink your coffee everytime she's speaking out of turn.

Yes well that maybe "john" but you need a bit more Will power,

All of a sudden he was spitting coffee all over the place as he thought that last remark was funny!!!

I did phone my father-inlaw up to ask his advice on this one as he was in the medical field for many years and he told me what will happen at the doctors,
ie the internal test and then a blood test followed by a scan outside of his lower tummy and then the result's of all these but he will be put on a months pills to see if the tube thats pressing on his water works can be reduced.

John's agreed to the plan to see the doctor and as he's not even reg, with any doctor it shouldn't be a problem,

Ive told him what to expect and he went green!

He asked me is the doctor a man! I mean i wouldnt want a woman doing that to me!

(No wonder men can't have babies! just as well really)

No i replied she's a woman, blond and she really is a future Miss france,

He went from green to red, "Really' he replied?

We paid for the coffee and walked across the square to my car and it was then we saw that lad again "in his wheel chair"
feeding the birds,
John looked at him and then me and said, Is the doctor married!!
No i replied he's devorced (and thats true)
John caught on fast and said So he is a man after all
"You "b-------d you we're having me on all the time.

It was good to see him smile again even through his red eye lids,
As i left him at his gate and said i'd be intouch tomorrow with i hope time and a date ref the doctor
he seemed a bit better as he waved,
I opened my window and said "John" the doctor!!
He's Gay!

And so folks ive done no gardening as its raining here ive noted 8-30am monday "johns appointment" and thats about it for todays efforts.

23 Jun, 2013


Work well done.

23 Jun, 2013


I have heard of a man with the same problem, and he was cured in 4 days.

23 Jun, 2013


Good for you, Dungy. Hope the appointment goes as smoothly too.

23 Jun, 2013


The treatments now are fantastic, my OH has the problem and there is masses of help, but men being men???

23 Jun, 2013


Good job well done then Dungy, by the sounds of it he was scared and embarrassed and you being straightforward about it all is a relief to him, lets hope for a good result .....

23 Jun, 2013


Any news, Dungy? How did the appointment go?

26 Jun, 2013


Hi Xela,
Yes the appointment was 2 pm today at the doctors so myself and john went along to see what can be sorted,

Now this is my own doctor and he's a really nice man,
his english isn't so good but he understands, now my french isn't fantastic but i do get by,
Johns french sounds like he's from india,
Anyway i explained to the doctor the problem and i was there just to get john there,

The doctor understood and took john into the room we're the sink and examination bed is,

I saw the glove come out of a drawer along with a tube,
I think it was some kind of human WD40,

John just stood there, the doctor asked him to drop his trouser's and underpants, "John' didnt move he just stood in a trance,
The doctor asked if i'd come in and explain to john what was needed,

John asked if it could be done some other way?

No john and we are wasting this mans time so just drop um bend over and think this is the start of getting the answer to whats to be done next,
I'll be in the next room.

A few minutes later i could hear the tap flushing water and the doctor telling john to dress now,

We sat in the chairs opposit the doctor and he said he is very swollen in that area and we need to have a blood test and a visit to the hospitial for a scan to see if it can be treated with tablets or a small operation.

John just sat there saying nothing,
I explained what the doctor had said and then i asked when the scan can be done and the blood test,

John still sat there,

We paid the doctor and went with all the info ie telephone numbers,
As i'd only had a blood test myself a few weeks ago i new the nurses address and that was our first stop and she did the test there and then,
the chemist gave john his pills to help him go to the loo
and when we got back to our house the nurse had already made the app/with the hospital for johns scan in 4 weeks time and left all this info on the answer machine.

We sat up in my workshop "john & myself" and we had a talk,
I asked him how he felt, and he said really dirty, having had a man give him that examination "that way"
And he hoped he never see's that doctor again.

I told him that doctor will do all he can to make the rest of your life a better life and to him its just a job, nothing more,
John asked if the doctor said anything more than i'd told john he'd said?

Do you really want me to tell you john?
Yes go on ! tell me,

Well he said he only ever eats chips with a fork? He never uses his fingers,

"John" for the first time today laughed,
He asked me where this scan would be scaned,

I said just over your lower tummy, and then they put the head strap on with a bright light and tell you to bend over!!!!!!!!!

The second big smile arrived and we just had to laugh at todays events,

I took him home to his house and his wife and my wife we're pleased to see him and asked

"Well what did the doctor do to you "?

I replied he cant get wed in white anymore,
and after another coffee we went home and left john and his wife to talk.
So thats as far as it's gone, his next bit of a fun day is the 27th july for his scan.

26 Jun, 2013


Poor chap, at least you got him over the first hurdle Dungy, you helping him must be a relief to his wife as well...

26 Jun, 2013


Oh, poor John, just as well he has a good sense of humour. I hope the test results show nothing too serious and that he will be hail and hearty before long. Thank goodness he has a good friend like you, Dungy, to help him through this rotten experience.

27 Jun, 2013


Hello Xela and Lincslass,
Johns go no sense of humour; i mean i said to him if you die can i have your car (his wife can't drive) and he did a sooty in the nude sign with his fingers,

Now what did i say wrong there?????????

But he'll be ok, and ive decided on his xmass gift,
they're yellow one for each hand and to really make it an extra special gift "A tube of vasaline",
I was going to get him a photo of our Doctor buy thought that was a bit much.

27 Jun, 2013

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